The Trouble With Teleportation
by Red Witch
Summary: A Misfit story! When Lance starts moping over his long distance relationship with Kitty, he finds an unorthodox solution that threatens to drive all the X-Men insane! Will they retain their sanity? Completed fic! Let the madness begin!
1. Long Distance Lunacy

**I'll keep saying this until everyone gets it: I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters! Got it? Well this fic takes up not long after 'Blast from the Past' ends! That fic gave me another idea that I had to play with! If you think the Misfits' main goal in life is to drive the X-men crazy, well then this is for you!**

**The Trouble with Teleportation**

**Chapter 1. Long Distance Lunacy**

"Kitty will you get off the stupid phone!" Rogue groaned. "You've been talking to Lance for about four hours now!!!!!" 

"I have not!" Kitty snapped. 

"You have too!" Rogue snapped. 

"What are you timing me?" Kitty snapped. "I'll be off in a minute!"

"That's what you said an hour ago!"

"Well who do you have to call that's so important?" Kitty snapped. "Just leave us alone. Sorry Lance, you know how crazy it can get around here." 

"Tell me about it," Lance sighed.

"AVALANCHE!" Shipwreck shouted. "How long have you been talking on the phone?"

"But…" Lance started to say.

"Don't you know how expensive these calls can be? Do ya?" Shipwreck snapped.

"But it's collect, Xavier's paying for it," Lance told him.

"Oh," Shipwreck said. "Never mind then. Talk all ya want." He left the room. 

"As I was saying Kitty," Lance sighed. "I know how crazy it can get around here when you wanna talk to somebody!"

"Tell me about it," Kitty sighed. 

"Kitty are you still on the phone?" Scott asked. He was on the other end.

"Yeah she's been talking to Lance all afternoon!" Rogue shouted into the phone over Kitty's shoulder. 

"Rogue! Scott like get off the phone!" Kitty snapped. 

"Yeah why don't you two take a hike?" Lance snapped.

"Why don't you take a hike Alvers?" Scott snapped.

"Actually for once I gotta agree with Summers," Fred said as he spoke on another phone in the Misfit house. "Other people need to use the phone too ya know? I wanna order a pizza!"

"Will you guys just butt out!" Lance snapped. 

"Why don't you just hang up?" Scott snapped.

"Why don't you just shut up and get off the phone?" Kitty snapped. 

"Why don't you all shut up and get off the phone so I can call and order a pizza?" Fred shouted. "I'm hungry!"

"There's a shock," Scott groaned. 

"Fred just use a cell phone to call it in why don't ya?" Lance snapped.

"Now why didn't I think of that?" Fred scratched his head. "Good idea Lance. Hey do you wanna slice? I'm gonna get a couple of pepperoni and a Hawaiian. You want any?" 

"Maybe later Blob," Lance groaned. 

"Kitty just get off the phone!" Scott snapped.

"Let me help you!" Rogue grabbed the phone.

"Give it back Rogue!" Kitty yanked on it. Soon they were both in a tug of war. 

"Hang up!" Rogue snapped.

"Let go!" Kitty snapped. 

"You let go!" Rogue shouted. 

"Alvers this is all your fault!" Scott snapped.

"**My **fault?" Lance snapped. 

"Give it back!" Kitty shouted.

"No!" Rogue snapped.

"Why don't you just butt out and mind your own business?" Lance shouted.

"Watching out for my friends from losers like you is my business!" Scott snapped.

"Look who's calling who a loser!" Lance shouted.

"MINE!" Kitty screeched.

"NO!" Rogue snapped. 

"Hey Lance it's me again," Fred was on the phone. "Do you want any hot wings with that?"

"AGGGHHH!" Kitty shouted and phased the phone out of Rogue's grasp. "HA!" 

"KITTY GET OFF THE PHONE!" Scott snapped.

"YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF HER!" Lance shouted. 

"Well technically he is Lance," Fred told him. "He is the leader of the X-Geeks." 

"Blob will you butt out?" Scott snapped. 

"Don't tell him to butt out!" Lance snapped. "He's my team mate and I'll tell him to butt out! Blob butt out!"

"Fine but don't come crying to me if you want any hot wings and there aren't enough to go around!" Fred snapped as he slammed the phone down. 

"KITTY IF YOU DON'T HANG UP RIGHT NOW THE GLOVES ARE COMING OFF!" Rogue shouted.

"You know Rogue that line would be more effective if you didn't like, say it every other time you want your way," Kitty snapped. "Can I call you back Lance?"

"NO!" Rogue and Scott shouted.

"How about we go chat online?" Lance snapped. "Maybe we'll have some privacy for a change?" 

"Good idea! I'm on my way," She hung up.

"Finally," Scott sighed.

"Oh yeah and Summers…" Lance blew a raspberry and hung up.

"ALVERS! AGGGHGHHH!" Scott pounded the phone against the wall. 

Hank walked around the corner and saw Scott pounding the phone shouting. "I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!" 

"I don't wanna know," Hank did an about face and walked in the other direction.

***********************************************************************

"Kitty will you get off the computer!" Bobby shouted. "What is so important that you have to spend five hours on the computer?"

"I am not spending five hours!" Kitty snapped. "I haven't even been on ten minutes and already people are bugging me! Go use one of the other computers in the house. In fact don't you have one in your room or something?"

"Yeah but Jamie's playing some kind of war game on it. At least I hope it's a war game, with him you never know," He looked over her shoulder. "You're talking to Lance again? I thought you went back to Peter?"

"None of your business!" Kitty snapped. "I can't get a minute of privacy around here! I'm gonna go get my laptop!" She signed off and stormed away. 

Bobby then noticed Peter in the corner. "So what's going on with you guys anyway?" 

"Well, it's not like we've really broken up or anything," Peter played with his fingers. "It's that we've decided to also see other people."

"Oh for crying out loud!" Bobby snapped. "What is the matter with you? Look we gotta do something or else the two of you will never get back together!"

"But what?" Peter asked. 

"Leave it to me," Bobby looked at the computer and rubbed his hands together in glee. 

************************************************************************

"Jamie I like can't believe you were using all the computers to try and hack into other computers!" Kitty shouted. She was taking her laptop away from him. Forge and Scott were there as well. 

"Not just any computers!" Jamie shouted. "Terrorist's bank accounts! What better way to combat the forces of evil than by taking away their cash?"

"You have to admit he has a point," Forge said.

"It's still wrong," Scott said. He then noticed a beeping on one of the hallway monitors. "Hey someone's trying to call us using the video phone. I wonder who it is?" He turned it on to see a very angry Lance glare at him. "Oh why am I not surprised? What do you want now Alvers?"

"Where's Kitty?" Lance shouted. "I need to talk to her!"

"You just talked to her five minutes ago!" Scott snapped. 

"Get out of the way, Scott," Kitty shoved him aside. "What's wrong Lance?"

"Kitty what the heck is this you wrote me?" Lance asked, clearly angry. 

"What did I write?" She asked.

"This e-mail!" Lance shouted. "Lance I think we should see other people. Last night Peter and I had the best date. You would not believe what a great kisser he is! He also has a much better body than you do…" 

"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?" Kitty shouted. "I DIDN'T WRITE THAT!"

"Well if you didn't who did?" Lance asked.

Kitty whirled around and saw Peter and Bobby try to sneak off down the hallway. "PETER YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Kitty snapped. 

"It wasn't me!" Peter shouted. "Bobby did it!"

"WHAT?" Kitty snapped. 

"Thanks a lot!" Bobby snapped. "Last time I help out a friend!" 

"Bobby!" Kitty growled.

"Well somebody has to come between you and the Rock Head over there!" Bobby shouted.

"If I were you I'd be more concerned about something coming between my fist and your face!" Kitty snarled. "DIE!" She tackled him and soon they were fighting on the floor. 

"Oh thanks a lot Alvers, you started **another **fight around here!" Scott snapped.

"Did not!" Lance snapped.

"Did too!" Scott snapped back.

"Did not!" Lance shouted.

"Did too!" Scott shouted, ignoring both Forge and Peter's efforts to stop the fight, only to get drawn into it themselves. 

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"What is going on here?" Jean ran up.

"Oh man this is such a great fight!" Jamie was videotaping the whole thing with his camera. "Man Kitty is wailing on those guys!" 

"DID NOT!" Lance shouted.

"DID TOO INFINITY!" Scott screamed.

"DID NOT INFINITY TIMES FORTY SEVEN!" 

"Kitty will you please stop fighting and get Lance off the video phone before Scott has a heart attack or something?" Jean moaned as she used her telekinesis to pull her away.

"That alone seems like a perfect reason to stay on!" Lance snapped. 

"Well this is me signing off and don't call back!" Peter snapped shutting off the phone.

"PETER!" Kitty shouted shoving him. Soon everyone was shouting at everyone else.

Hank walked in. "Oh great…now what's going on?" He looked at Jamie. "On second thought, don't tell me. I'll just catch the film at eleven." 

************************************************************************

"AGGGGHHHH!" Lance screamed. 

"Trouble in paradise?" Todd raised an eyebrow.

"That Jerk Colossus and his X-Geek buddies are trying to split me and Kitty up!" Lance snapped.

"What a shock," Todd said dryly as he left the room. 

"I'm serious Toad," Lance followed him into the living room where some of the other Misfits were relaxing. "Whenever I think Kitty and I are finally connecting they pull some stupid routine!"

"I don't know why you're surprised," Althea said. "Those guys have been fighting your relationship tooth and nail ever since you first got together!" 

"What really surprises me is why she always goes back to Lance," Wanda said. 

"There's no accounting for some girls' taste," Althea shrugged. "Some girls are attracted to the weirdest guys. Hey Cuddly-kins come over here!" She pulled Todd close to her. "I need my recommended amount of smooches today!"

"Well why not let Doctor Toad fix you right up!" Todd grinned as he kissed her.

"If anyone should know about that it's you," Wanda grimaced. 

Lance was pacing back and forth. "It's not fair! It's not fair!" He snapped. "Those jerks have been messing with my relationship with Kitty since day one! Well no more! I can't take it any more! I have got to do something!"

"Like what?" Todd said as he cuddled with Althea. "She's hours away yo."

"Yeah, face it Lance," Wanda said. "Long distance relationships aren't easy. Especially with Colossus there. I mean he's got the home advantage!" 

"That's right!" Lance growled. "He's with her night and day! Day and night! Even though they're in separate rooms he's living under the same roof with her, plotting ways to steal Kitty away from me again! I have got to do something!" 

"Like what?" Althea asked. 

"I don't know!" Lance snapped. "But I just know if I just stand around and do nothing I'll lose Kitty again! Maybe this time forever!"

"Oh that would be such a tragedy," Todd quipped. 

"Oh forget it!" Lance threw up his hands and left the room. "I should have known to ask for sympathy from you guys!" 

He stormed into his room muttering under his breath various things he wanted to do to certain teammates. He looked around and saw the Triplets cleaning his room. "WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING?" He shouted.

"Cleaning your room, duh," Daria said. "My your underwear drawer was so untidy." She held up his boxers. 

"Give me that!" Lance snapped as he grabbed them from her. "Now leave me alone!" He flopped on his bed face down. 

"What's wrong Lance," Brittany patted him on the head. "You can tell us."

"I'll bet he's moping about Kitty again," Quinn said. 

"Well you know how long distance relationships are," Daria said. 

"Too bad he doesn't have his own teleporter like we do," Quinn said. "Then he could see her whenever he liked." 

"Wait a minute!" Lance shouted. "That's it! You three really are geniuses!" 

"Oh no!" Daria said. "We are not letting you use our teleporter!"

"I'll pay you!" Lance said.

"You're broke!" Quinn said. 

"I'll do your chores!" Lance said.

"Forget it! You're worse at cleaning than Toad is," Daria said.

"I'll…I'll…" Lance was searching for the right bribe. "I'll steal Pietro's underwear for you!"

"Let me get the instruction manual!" Brittany ran off. 

Ten minutes and an exchange of items later the Triplets were showing Lance how to work the device. "Now you got it?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah I got it! Thanks girls!" Lance smiled happily. 

"No thank you," Quinn grinned as she looked at Pietro's boxers. 

"Kitty here I come!" Lance cried out joyfully as he pushed the button. 

**And so the madness begins….**


	2. Hello Kitty!

**Hello Kitty!**

Meanwhile Xavier had called a meeting of all the members of the X-Men to discuss the recent events. More specifically, the phone crisis. "Kitty I realize that you have a long distance relationship with Lance," Xavier groaned. "But you cannot keep making so many calls. Look at this phone bill," He showed it to her. "I mean there are literally thousands of dollars of collect calls on this!" 

"The Professor is right Kitty," Jean said. "You just can't tie up the phone lines all day. It's wasteful and it isn't fair to the Professor. I mean he does have to pay for all of this."

"I'm so glad you agree Jean," Xavier said. "I suggest you take some of that advice yourself. You do not have to call the MTV Request hotline every day!"

"Hey it's not just me that does that!" Jean snapped pointing at Tabitha and Amara.

"Well we have to do something for fun since we're always cooped up around here!" Tabitha snapped. 

"That doesn't excuse you for making all these phone calls!" Xavier said. "Look at this bill! Calls to Scotland and Los Angeles, I assume to talk to Rahnee and Jubilee…"

"We miss them," Amara said.

"Calls to Hawaii…Scott."

"I miss my brother okay? Besides he's in the semi-finals of his latest tournament."

"Okay family calls I can understand, just please think of limiting some of them! I mean look at how many calls there are to Kentucky, Illinois…Okay who do we know in Barbados?" 

"Uh that's me I'm afraid," Hank raised his hand. "I've been talking with an old colleague. She's been sick lately." 

"Recouping at Club Med I see," Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"She's stressed," Hank said defensively. 

"I see," Xavier sighed. "And look at all these calls for take out…of course with some of the student's cooking that's understandable. Now here's one number I can't figure out what it is!"

"Wait a minute," Logan looked at the number. "I recognize that from one of the late night channels! It's some kind of adult mutant party line! Who's calling this?" 

"Don't look at us!" Bobby said, speaking for the boys. "We've never heard of it until now!" 

"I wish we did but we didn't," Sam said. 

"Well it ain't us either!" Rogue said.

"Yeah why would girls call a party line?" Tabitha said. "It's mostly older guys who are stuck at home and can't get any dates that call those things!" 

Just then everyone looked at Hank. "I've been lonely okay?" Hank snapped. 

"And I thought I had problems with my love life," Peter groaned. 

"Chuck…I think we've all been cooped up in here just a little too long," Logan sighed.

"I think you're right," Xavier groaned. 

************************************************************************

"Well that was fun," Bobby groaned as he and Sam headed for Peter's room. 

"I can't believe that the Professor is now going to have us write down all our calls and time them," Sam groaned. 

"Hey look on the bright side," Bobby said. "At least Lance won't be bugging us that much any more with his phone calls."

"All the good that will do," Peter sat down. "Kitty is still infatuated with him. Every time I think I've finally won her heart for good, he ruins it."

"Well Tabitha's not exactly helping either," Sam pointed out. "She still blames Kitty for her breakup with Ray. Speaking of which, who would have thought that Amara and him would go out?"

"Well Amara and I were more like friends than boyfriend/girlfriend," Bobby shrugged. "You know, fire and ice aren't exactly the world's greatest combination."

"And you still miss Jubilee," Peter pointed out. 

"Don't worry Tin Man," Sam said. "You'll win Kitty back for sure!"

"You think so?" Peter asked.

"I know so," Sam said. 

"Well," Bobby shrugged. "At least Lance is thousands of miles away. I mean it's not like he can just show up on our doorstep or anything!" 

"Hey babe! Guess who?" Lance called out cheerfully as he materialized. "Surprise sweetie!"

Peter frowned at him. "It certainly is sweetheart!" 

"Wrong room," Lance groaned. "It figures!" 

"How did you get in here?" Bobby shouted.

"He must have used the Triplet's transporter, duh!" Sam snapped. 

"Yeah I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!" Lance smirked. 

"Well you can think again!" Bobby started to power up but was knocked down by Lance's tremors. 

"See ya around losers!" Lance laughed as he escaped the room.

Meanwhile Kitty and Amara were hanging out in the library when they felt the shockwave. "I know that tremor…" Kitty blinked.

"No way it could be him," Amara said. "Could it?" 

"ALVERS WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Scott screamed. 

"It is," Kitty sighed as she got up. She went into the hallway to see Scott and some of the other boys trying to block Lance's way. "Lance!"

"Hi Kitty!" Lance said cheerfully. 

"Like what are you doing here?" Kitty asked. 

"I came to visit you!" Lance smiled. 

"What?" She blinked. "But how did you…?"

"Trinity's Transporter!" Lance smiled as he showed her his watch. "Neat huh?"

"Wonderful," Scott groaned. "Alvers you can't just pop over here any time you like!"

"Why not?" Lance snapped. "Besides, its not like it's three in the morning or anything! Hey Kitty, would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?"

"Well…okay," Kitty blinked. 

"Great!" Lance smiled. "How does noontime tomorrow sound to you?"

"Well fine I guess," Kitty said. 

"It is not fine with me!" Scott snapped.

"Well I didn't ask you anyway," Lance told him. "See ya Kitty!" He pressed a button and disappeared just as Scott lunged for him. 

Scott ended up on the floor. "ALVERS!" He shouted.

"What's going on?" Rogue asked.

"We had a visit from the Rock Head," Sam said. 

"Lance used the transporter to ask Kitty here for a date," Peter said bitterly.

"Now deep down, didn't we all know that was gonna happen sooner or later?" Rogue said.

"Well I don't like it!" Peter snapped.

"Oh Petey!" Tabitha appeared and gave Peter a hug. "There you are! You promised to help me with my chemistry."

"Don't let me keep you," Kitty said coldly as she stormed into her room.

"Kitty…" Peter whined.

Rogue sighed as she followed Kitty to their room. "Can you like believe him?" Kitty snapped. "How dare he criticize my relationship with Lance of all people!" 

"So now Lance can pop over here any time he feels like it?" Rogue asked. "Do you hear that?"

"What is it?" Kitty asked.

"It's the sound of doom approaching," Rogue said dryly. 

"Very funny Rogue," Kitty folded her arms. 

"Yup it's doom all right," Rogue grinned. 

"It is not!" Kitty snapped.

"Yes folks at the top of the charts this week it's the popular hit, 'The Doom Song,'" Rogue quipped.

"You know I like you a lot better when you are just your normal anti-social self and not trying to be funny!" Kitty snapped. 

"Doom, doom, doom…" Rogue sang out as she left the room. 

"AGGGGHHH!" Kitty screamed. 

**What doom shall befall the X-Men? What madness has entered my mind now? Read and review to find out!!! **


	3. A Walk to Forget

**A Walk to Forget**

"I can't believe you're going to just let this happen!" Scott shouted. He and Xavier were in the library with some of the other students the following day.

"Scott as long as Kitty is back by a reasonable time I see no harm in it," Xavier sighed. "It would do her some good to get out of the mansion. Actually it would do all of us good if you students got out of the mansion!" 

"Look at it this way Scott," Kitty said. "It will cut down on the phone bills." 

"Oh yeah that's a good reason," Scott drawled.

"Come off it Summers," Lance walked into the room, surprising everyone. "I don't know why you're so against this! I'm a good guy now, remember?"

"Not in my book you're not!" Scott snapped. 

"Scott, chill will you?" Kitty snapped. "You got here fast!"

"Hey thanks to the wonders of teleportation I'm right on time!" Lance grinned. 

"Are you sure you won't get in trouble?" Kitty asked him.

"Nah," Lance shrugged. "All the adults have skipped out to let off some steam for a hour or two. They like to sneak off every now and then without telling anyone. And nobody will tell on us."

"You bribed them didn't you?" Scott folded his arms in disgust.

"Not all of them," Lance snapped.

"Well have fun you two," Xavier sighed. "I have to go…pay some more bills." He went off. 

"You'd better behave yourself Alvers," Peter growled. "I'm warning you!"

"I wouldn't be talking about behavior if I was you," Lance snapped. "From what I hear you're not exactly the perfect boyfriend either!" 

"Why you…" Peter made a fist.

"Peter knock it off!" Kitty stopped him. "Come on Lance, let's go!" 

"So where are you two going?" Rogue asked. 

"How about the mall? Or maybe a pizza place?" Kitty suggested.

"Forget that," Lance took her hand. "Why settle for a lousy local place when the world is at your fingertips! Paris here we come! By now!" He waved and soon they both disappeared. 

"I hate that jerk!" Peter growled.

"Yeah well, that jerk does have some style, I have to admit," Remy huffed. "Now why didn't Gambit think of that?" 

"I just wish there was a way to stop him from coming over here," Peter grumbled.

"Maybe there is…" Scott looked like he was thinking.

"What are you up to?" Rogue asked. 

"Look like the man's thinking up a plan," Remy said. 

"You know, I'll bet the Joes wouldn't be too happy if they thought Lance was running around loose without permission," Scott said.

"You wouldn't!" Rogue snapped.

"They wouldn't would they?" Peter grinned.

"No they wouldn't," Scott grinned back.

"Hey you can't do that!" Remy said. 

"Wanna bet?" Scott said.

"This is a bad idea finking on him," Remy said. "It's against the code!" 

"I am not finking," Scott said. "I am merely informing his guardians that he might be putting himself and others in danger."

"Don't count me in this!" Remy snapped. "Even if Lance is a jerk I still won't fink."

"Yeah Scott," Rogue said. "Besides something tells me that telling on him won't solve the problem anyway." 

"Maybe Rogue is right," Peter sighed. "In fact Lance could end up in a lot of trouble. He could even end up in jail or something for leaving the base. You know the more I think about this the better I am liking this idea!" 

"Scott no!" Remy said. "Think about what you are doing! Think about Kitty's feelings!"

"We are!" Peter said. "We all know he's no good for her! We're just helping her get over him a bit faster!" 

"Think about maybe the next time he shows up he might end up in their bedroom late at night!" Scott said. "And think about all the trouble he's caused us! Think about how he trashed the school and got us all in hot water!"

"That was an accident!" Remy said. 

"Think about because of him, we haven't been able to go back to school and can hardly leave the Institute without people hassling us!" Scott said.

"Remy don't mind it here," He winked at Rogue.

"Think about the fifty dollars he owes you from that poker game and he never paid back," Peter said.

"What's the number to the Joe Base again?" Remy asked.

************************************************************************

"Tah dah!" Lance shouted. "Welcome to Gay Pariee!" He shouted. Then he opened his eyes. 

"Lance if this is Paris, why is there nothing but snow everywhere?" Kitty snapped. All around them were huge amounts of snow. They were standing in the middle of a group of penguins. 

"Oops," Lance gulped as he looked around. "Must have hit the wrong dial. According to this we're in the South Pole! Hey! Look! Penguins!" 

"Hey look," Kitty's teeth chattered. "I'm turning blue! Lance if we end up stuck here…" 

"Don't worry, I've got the hang of this thing now," Lance pushed the button. Soon they were both in someplace a lot warmer. "Ahh! Here we are! Hawaii! Better?" 

"Well a little," Kitty sighed. "EWWW! I got penguin poop on my shoe! I'm gonna…LANCE!" 

Lance looked around them. They were at the very edge of a volcano. "No wonder it's so warm," Lance gulped. "Well it is a nice view. And it's not like the volcano is gonna erupt or anything."

Of course right on cue the volcano shot out a huge spurt of lava. They screamed and held onto each other. "HANG ON!" Lance shouted as he pressed the button again. They dematerialized just as the lava began to fall. 

"Okay, that was close," Lance sighed.

"Too close," Kitty grumbled. "Now where are we?" 

"I dunno, I just hit any button," Lance looked around. "We're in some kind of jungle. Well there are a lot of nice flowers."

"Well it is kind of pretty," Kitty said. "Look at all the trees." 

"See," Lance went over to pick one. "This isn't so bad." Then he noticed a rustling in the bushes. He peered into the bushes and went pale. "Uh…Kitty…do tigers eat people?"

"I don't know, why?" Kitty asked. Then she saw one poking its head out of the bushes.

"THAT'S WHY!" Lance shouted. "RUN!" They both ran for their lives. The tiger chased after them. Lance tripped and the beast was about to pounce on him when Kitty leapt on him just in time. She made him intangible so that they passed right through the tiger. They climbed up the nearest tree.

"Lance! Here's a newsflash!" Kitty gulped. "Tigers can climb trees! Get us out of here!"

"Okay, okay! I got it now!" Lance fiddled with the dials and grabbed Kitty. "Hang on!" They teleported away. They landed on something hard. "This date is not going according to plan!"

"No kidding!" Kitty snapped. "Hey, look where we are! We're on top of the Eiffel Tower!" 

"The very top," Lance gulped as he realized they were not on the observation deck, but on one of the beams at the top of the structure. "I hate heights!" 

"Well at least we finally made it to Paris," Kitty sighed. "It is beautiful up here. Lance are you okay? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine," Lance looked a little green. 

"Are you sure?" Kitty sounded concerned.

"No really, it's okay…it's…" Lance tried to hold it in but ended up vomiting.

"Oh that is disgusting!" Kitty winced. "You really can't take heights much can you?"

"Maybe we should get down," Lance gulped. 

"I think that guy down there agrees with you," She patted his back and pointed to a person on the observation deck who was shaking his fist at them. "Sorry!" 

"Let's try this…" Lance pushed the button and they ended up on the ground somewhere in Paris. "Okay… now we're on the ground again."

"And right next to a McDonalds," Kitty pointed. "It figures. Lance maybe you should take me home. I mean it was a nice thought but…" 

"No, I mean I know we've had a rough start but please Kitty just give me a chance!"

"Well okay," Kitty agreed.

"Um, I just need to wash my mouth off," Lance panted as they went inside. "Don't worry Kitty, it's gonna be okay. I promise, no more disasters." 

************************************************************************

"Peter calm down," Rogue said. "She's only been gone an hour!" 

"But she's with that idiot Alvers!" Peter snapped. "She could be anywhere and he could be doing anything to her!" 

"Don't worry," Rogue said. "Lance will probably do something stupid and end the date early."

"Or worse, he does something right and the date will go on forever!" Peter groaned.

"LANCE ALVERS YOU ARE SUCH A JERK!" Kitty screamed though the halls.

"On the other hand you might be right," Peter said. They both went out into the hall where they saw Kitty and Lance; both were covered in garbage.

"Kitty I said I was sorry!" Lance whined.

"Sorry? SORRY?" Kitty whirled on him. "Because of you my outfit is ruined as well as my shoes! Not to mention giving the French another reason to hate Americans as well as mutants!"

"Okay maybe I should handled that a little better," Lance scratched his head.

"You think? I don't know why I do it!" Kitty fumed. "I really don't! Every single time we go out there's trouble! And you are the cause of it!"

"Not every time!" Lance said.

"Name one time!" Kitty whirled on him. "One time!"

"Um…" Lance blinked. "How about the Sadie Hawkins Dance when those monsters showed up? I didn't cause that!"

"No but you wrecked the gym!" Kitty snapped.

"Come on Kitty," Lance pleaded.

"Go home Lance!" Kitty snapped. "And stay home! On second thought let me help you!" She grabbed the watch on his wrist and pushed a few buttons. She let go just in time so that she wouldn't end up with him. He ended up in the Misfit living room where Todd was reading a magazine. 

"What happened to you?" Todd asked.

"Don't ask," Lance groaned. 

"Actually we would like to ask," Roadblock came in with the other adults. They didn't look too happy.

"Busted," Todd snickered. 

"Shut up!" Lance snapped. 


	4. Thou Shalt Not Fink

**Thou Shalt Not Fink**

Lance found himself the center of several very angry stares. "I'm in trouble aren't I?" He gulped.

"Big time," Roadblock folded his arms.

"Lance is gonna get shot!" Pietro taunted.

"He is not!" Althea shouted.

"Well then he'll get locked up in the stockade!" Pietro said.

"I don't think we'll go that far," Spirit said.

"Why not? He used the teleporter to take off to the mansion and caused trouble!" Pietro asked.

"So did you!" Shipwreck reminded him.

"Oh yeah," Pietro blinked. 

"I was only trying to spend some time with Kitty," Lance said. "What's wrong with that?" 

"You are not supposed to go AWOL that's what!" Roadblock snapped.

"You mean like you did?" Todd pointed out.

"The kid has a point," Shipwreck said. 

"Okay maybe somebody else oughta discipline him," Roadblock muttered. 

"Now let's not be too hard on the boy," Shipwreck said. "I mean he's just a lovesick loon after all!"

"Shipwreck please don't help me," Lance groaned.

"Yeah I mean if you think about it, Lance screwing up **again** is punishment enough," Pietro quipped. 

"Why do things always backfire when I'm with Kitty?" Lance moaned. "Why?"

"Because you're both idiots," Wanda said.

"And you don't think before you act," Althea said.

"And you let her treat you like garbage," Todd said.

"And no matter how bad she treats you, you always go crawling back to her whenever you two break up," Fred said.

"Not to mention the fact that your plans to win her over are just plain stupid," Pietro said.

"And you do have a temper," Xi added.

"ALRIGHT ALREADY!" Lance shouted. "Enough! I get the message!" 

"No I don't think you do," Pietro said. "Face it Lance, you and Kitty are not meant to be!"

"Don't say things like that!" Lance shouted. 

"It's true!" Pietro snapped.

"I'm warning you Pietro!" Lance growled and made a fist. "If you keep hassling me…"

"I told you that you had a temper," Xi said.

"See that's just what we're talking about!" Althea said. "How do you expect her to not see you as some kind of hood when you act like one?" 

"You're right," Lance sat down dejectedly. "But what do I do? I don't know how to get her to talk to me again!" 

"Oh dear," The Blind Master sighed. "Nothing is so painful for a fool than to be in love!"

"So what do we do about this?" Cover Girl asked. "We can't let Lance get away with this!"

"We could take away any teleportation privileges," Shipwreck shrugged.

"What teleportation privileges?" Cover Girl asked. "He's not supposed to use the machine in the first place! None of them are! We have to discipline him some other way!" 

"Why not?" Lance groaned. "My life's in the toilet anyway!" 

"Guys let's have a conference over here," Roadblock motioned to the adults and they moved to the corner. "So how are we going to do this? I mean we did do the exact same thing Lance did technically."

"Yeah and having Avalanche mope around for weeks is gonna be torture for all of us," Low Light groaned. "Especially if we ban him from seeing Kitty."

"Not to mention his little habit of sleep terra forming when he's disturbed," Spirit told them. "Remember?" 

"How can we forget?" Shipwreck asked. "The last time he had a nightmare the entire base felt it! And that was just a few days ago!" 

"That kid is gonna whine about his problems with Kitty for weeks," Low Light groaned. "Maybe even longer!" 

"That boy is just gonna go on and on and on and on…" The Blind Master groaned.

"Tell us about it," Todd popped his head in. 

"So what are you guys gonna do?" Althea poked her head in. 

"Who said you guys are part of this?" Cover Girl asked.

"We should be since we are probably gonna end up suffering along with him," Althea said.

"She has a point," Todd remarked.

"Well we should nip this teleportation thing in the bud," Roadblock said. "Take it away from them."

"How? That thing is nailed to the floor," Shipwreck said. "I checked. Maybe we can just take away those watches and tell them not to make any more?"

"That's what you said about the dynamite, remember?" Althea said. "The Triplets would just make more behind your backs anyway!" 

"She has a point," Low Light sighed. 

"So what are we gonna do?" Roadblock asked. "I don't think we can take much of Avalanche being blue!"

"I don't think the structure of this house could take it either," Low Light groaned. 

"I have an idea," Shipwreck grinned. 

"Oh lord now we really are in trouble," Althea groaned. 

************************************************************************

"So what did happen?" Jean asked Kitty. She had just finished taking a shower and was back in the room she shared with Rogue. 

"What happened?" Kitty snapped. "I'll tell you what happened! Mr. Genius can't figure out how to work a teleport machine! First we got stuck in the Arctic Circle and froze while I got penguin poop on my shoe! Then we ended up nearly getting fried in a volcano, and then we got chased by a tiger in some jungle!" 

"Oh boy…" Jean blinked. 

"I knew it," Rogue smirked. "Doom."

"That's not the worst of it," Kitty sat down on her bed. "We finally made it to the Eiffel Tower but it turns out Lance doesn't like heights. He threw up on this guy so we teleported to of all places a French McDonalds! So we go in so Lance can freshen up but it turns out they weren't crazy about us using the restroom since we couldn't buy anything. Of course Lance tries to pay using American money. Long story short…"

"Too late," Rogue said.

"Lance got into a fight with the manager and soon the entire place was shaking," Kitty groaned. "The next thing we knew there was a mob on our heels trying to kill us!" 

"And they threw garbage at you?" Jean asked.

"No, they threw hard rolls and wine bottles at us," Kitty huffed. "What happened is that Lance decided to teleport us to England where we'd be safe and not get lynched. We got to England all right…right on top of a garbage scow in the middle of the Thames River! That's when I decided the date was over!" 

"Ouch," Jean winced. "That is bad."

"Maybe everyone is right," Kitty sighed. "Maybe Lance is bad for me. Maybe I should just give up and…" 

****

* _Students, please assemble in the library* _Xavier sent a telepathic message.

"Man that is so creepy when he does that," Rogue shuddered as they went to the library. 

"Sorry," Xavier apologized when they entered the room. "But I think it's important that we all have a talk about what's going on lately."

"Yeah having Lance pop up any time he wants could be more trouble than it's worth," Jean said. 

"Well Roadblock called me earlier saying that there will be no more surprise trips to the mansion by any of the Misfits without any of the adults knowing about it," Xavier said. 

"Well that's one good thing that came out of all this," Scott said. "At least we won't have to deal with Alvers showing his face around here any time soon!" 

"I heard that!" Lance then walked into the room with Shipwreck behind him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Kitty yelled at him. 

"Hey he's not supposed to be here!" Scott said. "I thought you guys decided that the Misfits weren't allowed to come here any more!" 

"We decided there would be no **unsupervised** visits to the mansion," Shipwreck told him. "As long as one of us accompanies him, well…that's another story." 

"Uh, yes that's why I decided to talk to all of you," Xavier cleared his throat nervously. "I have had a word with the adults of the Misfit team and we have all decided that the friction between our two teams has to stop. And therefore…" 

"Hey Professor," Pietro zipped in. "I hate to be the one to tell you this but the babies were fooling around putting things in one of the toilets and it overflowed!" 

"What is he doing here?" Rogue pointed angrily. "I thought Lance was the only one who was stupid enough to show his face here?" 

"I love you too sis," Pietro quipped.

"Actually we all decided to come today," Shipwreck said. "That's what Charley's been trying to tell you. We've all decided to try to get along better so from now on we Misfits will all be popping in using the teleportation device nearly every day!"

"WHAT?" Every X-Man in the room shouted. 

"Man they got some great ice cream here!" Fred walked in with a pint of ice cream. 

"Chuck can we have a talk in private here?" Logan growled. 

"What's to talk about?" Shipwreck said. "It's the goal of the X-Men to make peace among humans and mutants right? What better way to start than by having our two teams get along? It's like you said Charles, mutants shouldn't be divided."

"I did say that didn't I?" Xavier groaned. 

"So think of it this way," Shipwreck grinned. "This is a perfect way to start practicing what you preach. Actually you should all thank Cyclops here. If he hadn't called us to tell us what was going on we would have never have come to this conclusion."

Every X-Man now was staring daggers of death at Scott. "Yeah Summers," Lance grinned. "Thanks a lot. Now I can see Kitty more often and I don't have to go behind the adult's backs to do it!" 

"Well I don't want to see you right now!" Kitty stormed away.

"Kitty!" Lance whined, following her. 

"I'd better talk to them," Shipwreck followed him. 

"I'd better get the camera," Pietro snickered.

"I'd better get some snacks," Fred smiled as they left all the X-Men alone. Several very angry X-Men who looked like they were about to kill Scott.

"Brilliant move Shades," Logan growled. 

"Yeah now thanks to you instead of just Avalanche popping by all the time we got all of 'em popping by whenever they feel like it!" Remy growled. 

"Including those insane adults!" Rogue said. 

"And the babies," Jean said with ice in her voice. "Not to mention the alcoholic parrot!" 

"This backfired big time," Scott groaned.

"Ya think?" Logan snapped. 


	5. Visting Day Always Gives Me Migraines

**Visiting Day Always Gives Me Migraines**

The adult X-Men were soon left alone in the study. "Chuck are you out of your freaking mind?" Logan snapped. "What is the matter with you? Don't you ever learn?"

"I know your heart is in the right place Charles," Ororo said. "But Logan does have a point. Every time we have encountered those children trouble happens. Don't you remember what happened the last time they were in the mansion?" 

"They wrecked my lab!" Hank whined.

"Those triplets used me for an experiment!" Logan snapped.

"What about the time we tried to help Low Light and you nearly ended up needing a psychiatrist yourself?" Ororo snapped. "The adults are just as insane as the students! Shipwreck's already made a pass at me!"

"Remember training at the GI Joe base?" Hank asked. "**That **was a brilliant idea!" 

"So was working with the boys when they were still with the Brotherhood to fight against Magneto!" Logan said. "The mansion got blown up!"

"That was Mystique," Xavier pointed out. "The boys knew nothing about her plan." 

"Still Charles you cannot blame us for having reservations about this idea," Hank said. 

"I know you do and frankly so do I," Xavier sighed. "But we're forgetting something. In the first place Shipwreck did have a point. Mutants should not be divided. We need to stand together to face the difficult days ahead. This is also a chance for mutants to learn to work with humans. Most of the adults are human, remember? How can we ever attain peace between humans and mutants worldwide if we can't bring peace between two different groups?" 

"I hate it when you make sense," Logan growled. "But still there are some people you are never going to get along with Charles. No matter how hard you try."

"Maybe but there is another reason, Logan," Xavier told him. "Have you forgotten that two of our students are related to two of their students? We owe it to both Rogue and Kurt that we at least try to have them have some kind of relationship with Wanda and Pietro." 

"THAT'S IT PIETRO!" They could hear Kurt shouting. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" 

"GO AHEAD AND TRY FUR-BOY!" Pietro taunted. What followed was the sound of several things breaking.

"CAN'T YOU CONTROL YOUR LUNATIC BROTHER?" Rogue was heard screaming amidst more things breaking. 

"WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO CONTROL **YOUR** LUNATIC BROTHER?" Wanda shouted. What followed was a minor explosion. 

Xavier winced. "I did not say it was going to be easy…" 

"I'd better go out there," Ororo sighed. She left the room "Where are those Joes? Why aren't they doing something about this?" 

"AAAHHHHHH!" A herd of Jamies nearly ran over Ororo. The Multiple clones were followed by Trinity who was followed by a very angry Cover Girl.

"GIRLS GET BACK HERE!" Cover Girl shouted. "YOU ARE NOT, REPEAT, NOT GOING TO DO ANY SPIN THE BOTTLE GAMES! GOT IT! COME BACK HERE!" 

"Okay," Ororo blinked. "That explains her…" 

Spirit walked by with both babies screaming loudly in his arms. "I apologize Storm," He sighed. "I'm afraid there's a bit of a mess in the downstairs bathroom." 

"Where are the other adults?" Ororo asked.

"Trying to break up a fight between Tabitha and Amara," Spirit groaned as an explosion shook the house. 

"Say no more," Ororo groaned and went down the stairs into the hallway. She saw Tabitha and Amara being restrained by several people each. "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

"Nothing much!" Tabitha snapped. "I just gotta teach the Princess here a lesson in manners!"

"If anybody needs to be taught a lesson it's you!" Amara shouted. 

"Enough of this! How did this fight start?" Ororo groaned.

"Well let's just say someone made a few comments that got them going!" Ray glared at Todd. 

"What?" Todd asked. "All I did was make a few casual observations. It's not my fault you have trouble with women." 

"That's it!" Ray snapped, powering up. "I'm gonna have myself some fried Toad's legs!"

"Uh oh!" Todd hopped away down the hall with Ray at his heels. 

"Why don't you get a clue Tabitha?" Amara snapped. "You're always causing trouble with everybody's relationships around here! Just because you and Ray broke up you think everyone else should be miserable!"

"Why don't you get a life Amara?" Tabitha snapped. "Instead of borrowing everyone else's?" 

"Kitty!" They could hear Lance's voice from down the hall. "Will you please let me apologize to you?"

"Why don't you leave her alone, Avalanche!" Peter's voice could also be heard.

"Isn't that your cue to go meddle in their lives?" Amara snapped at Tabitha. 

"Why you!" Tabitha lunged at her. Soon both girls were fighting with various people trying to drag them apart. Ororo tried to break them up as well but ended up getting knocked away. She found herself in Shipwreck's arms.

"I knew you'd fall for me!" He grinned. 

"Get your hands off me you pervert!" Ororo grabbed him by the arm and threw him into a wall.

"You love me babe, admit it!" Shipwreck staggered as he got up. 

"Kitty I know I have problems…" Lance pleaded as he followed her.

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed!" Kitty replied sarcastically. 

"What about couple's therapy?" Lance pleaded.

"What about you just go away and never come back!" Peter snapped. 

"What about you minding your own business?" Lance tackled him. Soon they were fighting as well. 

"Great going Scott!" Jean shouted as she tried to help keep the peace. 

"Yeah brilliant plan!" Remy growled.

"I **told** you not to snitch on Lance!" Rogue snapped. 

"Oh shut up and help me get everybody to stop fighting!" Scott snapped.

"HOLD ON!" Roadblock shouted. "I heard something!" There was a low rumbling sound.

"So do I," The Blind Master said. "It sounds like…water?" 

That was when a tidal wave of water rushed through the hallway. Ray was trying to swim for his life. Althea was riding the crest with Todd clinging to her back as she shouted, "TRY TO FRY MY BOYFRIEND WILL YOU?" 

"This is not good…" Scott gulped. 

Soon the water engulfed everyone in the hallway and carried all of them to the front door. With the exception of Pietro who ran ahead and locked the front door behind him from the outside. 

From high on the balcony Cover Girl, Spirit and the babies watched. Trinity and the Multiple clones ran amok in the background. "Well this is something you don't see every day," She blinked. 

"This stops now you psycho!" Ray shouted. 

"For god's sakes Ray whatever you do, don't…" Scott shouted. 

**ZZZZAPPPP!**

"AGGGHHHHHHH!" Everyone screamed as a mild electrical current hit their bodies. The tidal wave of water broke through the front door. Unfortunately for Pietro, he was still standing in front of the door so he got knocked down too. Soon everyone was washed up on the front lawn, wet and slightly fried.

"Use…your…powers…" Scott gasped. 

"Bad idea huh?" Ray moaned.

"Ya think?" Rogue snapped.

"I hate my life…" Low Light moaned. "I hate my life…" 

"Ow…" Todd moaned. 

"Ray…" Tabitha gasped. "As soon as I get some feeling back in my arms I am going to kill you…" 

Several Multiple clones ran out the front door screaming, followed by Trinity, then Cover Girl and Spirit with the babies. "Oh dear," Spirit sighed as he saw the sight. 

"This is all your fault Alvers…" Scott snarled.

"My fault?" Lance snapped. "You're the one who snitched on me!"

"He has a point," Peter groaned.

"Let's beat the both of them up," Remy growled. "They're both responsible!"

"Works for me," Kurt growled. "My fur is singed and soaking wet!"

"Eww," Todd held his nose. "And people complain about how I smell!"

"DIE!" Kurt tackled Todd. And so another fight began among the students. 

Outside the gate some very curious onlookers happened to be passing by. "I told you Madge that we should have moved to another town!" One man said to his wife.

"It's those crazy mutants again," Another person said. "What are they doing?" 

"Causing more destruction no doubt," A man said. "There go our property values again!" 

"They're a disgrace to the neighborhood!" A woman said.

"Forget the neighborhood! They're a menace to the entire community!" A man shouted.

"There is no way I am going to allow any of my kids to go to school with any of those things around that's for sure!" The first man said. 

"Somebody should do something! Call the Police or the Riot Squad! Look at them fighting on the lawn like animals! It's disgraceful!"

"I did. They're too scared to come! Can't say I blame 'em!" 

"Forget the police, what we need is the army! Call in the Marines!" 

Back in the study Xavier and the others were oblivious to the noises, trying not to pay attention to the sounds of destruction around them. "I know that this will work," Xavier said emphatically. "I mean how bad could this end up?" 

"Excuse me, have you even **met **the Misfits?" Logan asked. "How can hanging around with them be any good for the X-Men? We're fine just as we are!" 

"They shouldn't all just be stuck in the house watching television, doing training and talking on the phone all day," Xavier said. "They need interaction."

A loud crash was heard. "By the sound of it I'd say they're getting some," Logan groaned. "I'll go. But I still say this is a bad idea!" He left the room. "Hey why is the hallway so wet?" 

"I mean we really should all try harder to get along," Xavier rationalized. "Maybe this will work. Sure it will take some time…" 

"Oh look there's a fire on the lawn," Hank said. They both looked at the huge melee on the front lawn. X-Men and Misfits were fighting each other with the adults trying to break them apart. Except for Ororo and Shipwreck, because she was beating him up. 

"Okay maybe a lot of time…" Xavier sighed. "But this is for their own good. Our students need interaction with the outside world as well. The Joe's Mass Device can help us with that as well as with some of our missions." 

"Chuck…" Logan poked his head in. "I think we need to call a plumber. Fast! Trust me on this!" 

"There's a crowd outside the gates watching all of this! It looks like the entire neighborhood is out there! Is that a news truck?" Hank pointed to a vehicle beyond the fence. 

"You know the phone bill wasn't really that high," Xavier groaned. 

**Next: When Field Trips Go Wrong! What will happen next? **


	6. It's Field Trip Time!

**It's Field Trip Time!**

"I cannot believe all of you!" Xavier shouted to his students. They stood in the library the following day. "Especially you Storm! You should know better than to lose your temper like that!" 

"And I thought I had a temper," Logan chuckled. "However it was kind of funny to see you call down the lightning to fry Shipwreck's butt!" 

"Yeah it was so funny the cops came over," Scott groaned. "But the Misfits started the fight! They're to blame for the whole mess! They always cause trouble around here!" Several students agreed with him.

"Maybe, but yesterday's brawl wasn't exactly 100 percent their fault now was it?" Xavier asked. "Mutants have enough problems without all of you acting like lunatics! Thank god I was able to convince the police and the media that you were all doing a training exercise!" 

"Somehow though I don't think the neighbors were convinced," Hank sighed as he casually looked out the window. "Oh look, another 'For Sale' sign down the road." 

"It's obvious that we need to seriously work on getting along with other people," Xavier said. "So today all students from both groups will be going on a field trip."

"Couldn't we just have an all day level 13 training session in the Danger Room instead?" Rogue groaned.

"You wish," Hank told her. "We're going to use the Mass Device to transport all of us to a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean in order to study ecology and marine life. Also if you all decide to kill each other there will be no witnesses." 

************************************************************************

"We're going where?" Althea blinked. "Are you crazy? Stupid question."

"Listen," Shipwreck snapped to the kids. "You kids better learn to put up with the X-Men! If you don't it will ruin my plan!" 

"What kind of plan are you talking about, Pop?" Althea asked.

"This is not good," Daria said.

"It's really very simple," Shipwreck folded his arms. "We're letting Charley use our Mass Device right?" 

"Yeah," Althea said. "Go on."

"Well maybe one day Old Chuck will allow us to borrow Cerebro so we can get new recruits," Shipwreck said. 

"He'd never let us borrow it you lunatic!" Althea groaned.

"Maybe not," Shipwreck stroked his beard. "But let's say we start hanging around the X-Mansion a lot. And while we happen to be there the alarm for Cerebro will go off signaling a new mutant. I mean the more we hang around the odds of that happening are pretty good! I mean it's gotta happen sometime, right?"

"Keep going," Althea said.

"And we find out the location of this mutant," Shipwreck smiled. "And we decide to do the neighborly thing and track the mutant down using our Mass Device…"

"Which will let us get the first shot at getting new recruits!" Pietro said.

"And leave those X-Men in the dust before they know what hit them!" Wanda said.

"Bingo!" Shipwreck said. 

"I gotta admit, it is a good plan. You know Pop, every now and then you do think up a brilliant idea," Althea said.

"Why thank you daughter dear," Shipwreck beamed with pride.

"Just don't screw it up, okay?" Althea asked. 

"What makes you think I'd screw it up?" Shipwreck said hotly.

"This is you we're talking about," Althea said. 

"She's got you there barnacle breath," Polly squawked.

"Shut up bird," Shipwreck snapped. 

************************************************************************

"All right now listen up!" Roadblock called out to the students. They were all now on an island somewhere in the Pacific. "Your assignment should you choose to accept it…"

"Like we have a choice," Wanda grumbled.

"Is to team up into two groups made of both Misfits and X-Men," Roadblock continued. "You are to observe the wildlife, make observations and all the other stuff that's on your worksheets Hank gave out."

"Thank god for worksheets," Hank sighed under his breath. "A teacher's last line of defense!" 

The students reluctantly spilt up into groups. Actually the adults made them split up into groups. "Too bad Storm, Shipwreck and the Professor aren't here to help," Roadblock sighed. "We could use it."

"Well Shipwreck had to stay behind with the babies back at the mansion," Hank said. "The Professor somehow talked Storm into staying behind to help him." 

"AWWK! ONE ADAM TWELVE! ONE ADAM TWELVE!" Polly cackled as he flew by. He had something in his claws.

"I just wish Polly stayed behind as well," Hank sighed.

"COME BACK HERE WITH MY SCRUNCHIE YOU STUPID BIRD!" Kitty ran past with Lockheed flying alongside. "LOCKHEED! FRY THAT UNDERSIZED CHICKEN!" 

"We should have left the dragon behind as well," Roadblock groaned.

"Oh look," Hank pointed. "Some of them are already arguing and we've only been here…ten minutes. This is gonna be a long day." 

"Good thing you brought some extra Joes along to keep 'em in line," Logan grunted.

"Well yes and no," Roadblock sighed. 

"Cowabunga!" Alpine shouted gleefully as he surfed along the waves.

"ALPINE GET BACK HERE!" Roadblock shouted. "BEFORE I KICK YOUR REAR!"

"Oh yeah these guys are going to be a lot of help," Logan groaned as he watched some of the Joes already goofing off. 

"Bazooka will you please stop making sand castles and pay attention?" Roadblock groaned. 

"But I like sand castles," Bazooka whined.

"Yeah this is fun," Forge said.

"You too!" Logan snapped.

Eventually the two groups started to work on their assignment. Well that was the intention, but the further the second group got away from Roadblock, Logan and Hank's group the quicker they got their own ideas of how to spend their time. The adults quickly took off to go surfing and as for the kids…

"Scott I think I found some examples they want on Question 3," Jean motioned.

"Great Jean. It's nice to see **somebody **working on this project! Will all of you stop loafing around and help us here?" Scott snapped. They glared at their group, which consisted of Todd, Althea, Xi, Rogue, Remy, Bobby, and Roberto. All of them were either frolicking in the water or catching some rays. 

"Aren't you guys even worried about not completing this assignment?" Jean snapped. 

"Don't worry about it," Bobby waved. "We'll just copy your answers." 

"I'm serious," Jean snapped.

"So are we," Althea told her. She was wearing a blue two piece bathing suit. "Toad dear I need more sunscreen!"

"Coming right up my delicious little Sweetie of the Sea!" Todd happily obliged. 

"Oh brother," Rogue grumbled. "Could you two be any more revolting?"

"Actually we could," Althea said. "Just not in front of a large audience." 

"Will you guys quit goofing around?" Scott snapped. 

"No," Roberto told him. 

"Whatcha gonna do Summers?" Todd asked sarcastically. "Go tell on us?"

"Yeah we all know how well **that **worked the last time!" Remy snapped. 

"Go on and tell the adults," Althea pointed. "They're right over there, surfing!"

"Man who would have thought the Blind Master could hang ten like that?" Todd said. 

"Yeah well Roadblock isn't going to like this I'll bet!" Scott snapped. The next thing he knew something pushed him into the water. "WHOA!" 

Jean followed him with a splash. "Great now the worksheet is ruined!"

"Good going Xi!" Todd called out as Xi reappeared. 

"Yeah thanks a lot," Scott grumbled.

"Ah well I see all of you are putting the usual amount of effort into this assignment," Hank sighed as he walked over.

"Mr. McCoy they're not doing any work!" Scott complained. "They're completely ignoring me and Xi…" 

"Oh shut up Scott, nobody likes a snitch!" Hank snapped. "Besides at least you guys are getting along! Somewhat." 

There was a tremor in the distance followed by the sound of explosions and things being zapped. "Let me take a wild guess," Althea said. "Pietro made a few remarks which led to Tabitha and Amara fighting over Ray while at the same time getting into a fight with Kurt? And while this is going on Lance and Peter are at it again fighting over Kitty? Am I right?"

"Almost," Hank sighed. "It was Pietro **and **Kurt who made the remarks. Not to mention Tabitha decided to pick a fight with Wanda as well. And Fred ate all the lunches for that group."

"Ah," Althea nodded. "I see." 

Then there was a very loud explosion. "Hey is it me or does that not sound like Tabitha?" Remy asked.

"I know that sound," Althea blinked. "It sounds like a…land mine?" 

They all ran over to the section where Peter, Kitty and Lance were standing. "Like don't come any closer!" Kitty cried out. "I think we're in a land mine field or something!"

"What happened?" Hank shouted.

"We were…having a disagreement," Peter gulped. "When Avalanche here knocked down some coconuts and when they hit the ground they exploded!"

"Yup that's a land mine all right," Roadblock ran up with more members of his group. 

"Jean, levitate them out of there!" Scott snapped. 

"On it," She concentrated and soon all three were hovering in the air.

"Are you sure she can handle this?" Lance gulped.

"Relax Lance," Kitty told him. "If Jean can levitate the X-Jet she can handle us no problem!"

"I'm not to sure of that," Jean groaned. "Some of you really need to cut down on the burgers! There." She landed them safely away from the mines.

"Thanks Jean. How did those mines get there in the first place?" Kitty asked.

"Well this island is near Japan," Althea said. "They must be left over from WWII and nobody bothered to get rid of them." 

"Are you serious?" Rogue's jaw dropped. 

"What kind of morons take a bunch of kids to an island filled with land mines?" Scott shouted.

"Don't blame us!" Roadblock snapped. "It was Shipwreck who gave us the map and directed us here!"

"Why am I not surprised?" Lance groaned. "Stand back! I'm gonna…" 

"Lance no!" Althea shouted. "Your shaking might start…" Lance had already raised the ground up and the mines started to explode. "A chain reaction…."

"Way to go Alvers!" Scott snapped as they ran away from the explosions. "This way! Right…"

"Over to **another** fire?" Jean yelped as she saw the rest of the team run away from a blaze in the opposite direction. "What the…?"

"We had a little accident!" Logan growled. "Boom Boom and Magma 's little tiff got out of control! And then Lockheed decided to add **his **two cents in and well…" 

"I can guess the rest," Althea rolled her eyes. 

"This is not good," Kurt gulped as he saw the small island quickly turn into a flaming mess all around them. 

"Great!" Kitty groaned. "Now the island is on fire!" 

"Let's move our rears and get out of here!" Roadblock shouted as they hit the transportation buttons and disappeared. The island was left behind in a smoldering mess. 

"Well that was fun," Pietro grumbled as they materialized back at the mansion. 

"Yeah and sooo educational," Kitty rolled her eyes. "How to destroy an entire ecosystem in a few hours!" 

"When I said it was good to go on a deserted island in case you guys destroyed something I was only joking," Hank groaned. 

"The Professor is gonna kill us," Scott sighed. 

"Yeah you guys are in real trouble," Pietro remarked. 

"What about you?" Bobby asked.

"Don't worry, the Joes blow up islands all the time," Bazooka said. "This is nothing new!" 

"I'm not gonna tell Chuck if you don't," Logan sighed.

"How is he not gonna know about this?" Jean asked. "Cerebro? Remember?" 

"YOU IRRESPPONSIBLE JACKASS!" They could hear the Professor shouting. "YOU RUINED CEREBRO!" 

"On the other hand," Jean blinked. "Maybe we might get away with it." 

"What's going on?" Logan asked a very haggard Ororo. 

She was holding two bottles in her hands. "Can't talk…feed babies, change the babies…feed the babies…change the babies…milk…milk…no more screaming…" She stumbled away with a glazed look in her eye. 

"What's wrong with her?" Ray asked.

"Nothing a nice nap wouldn't cure," Fred told him. 

Xavier wheeled in with Shipwreck at his heels. "I can't believe you! I just can't believe you!" Xavier snapped. "That's going to take days to fix it!" 

"I said I was sorry!" Shipwreck snapped. "I didn't mean to spill my orange soda on Cerebro! It was an accident!"

"I knew it," Althea muttered under her breath. 

"Can't we go anywhere without something going wrong?" Jean shouted.

"Apparently not," Wanda said. 

"I don't know about you," Todd said sarcastically. "But I can't **wait** until the next field trip!" 


	7. Glory, Glory Paranoia

**Okay, I am seriously considering extending this fic a few more chapters than 10! What do you think? I have a few more ideas. Should I? Let me know! **

**Glory, Glory Paranoia**

You would think after the 'Fire Island' incident that both the Misfits and the X-Men would have given each other some time to cool off. But that wasn't so. Nearly the entire Misfit gang would show up at the X-Mansion every day. This of course led to more bickering, fights and holes in the wall. This also led to several people in the town complaining about the sound of explosions which seemed to dominate the entire town of Bayville. Which led to Xavier having several talks with the police and more and more talks with the lawyers. 

After a week of incidents several of the X-Men had had more than enough. "Professor why are you allowing this to continue?" Scott finally asked one night at dinner. 

"Scott it is important that we learn to try to get along with each other," Xavier sighed for the thousandth time. 

"How the hell can we possibly get along with **them**!" Scott shouted as he pointed to the Misfits eating ravenously at the end of the table. "Look at them! They even **eat **like maniacs!" 

"Hey when you have a hard day blowing up Cobra bases ya gotta eat!" Todd said between bites.

"Blowing up Cobra bases?" Xavier asked, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice.

"Only little ones," Shipwreck slurped on his soup. "Hey! Pass the rolls will ya?" 

"Yeah we thought that the kids could do with more on the field training," Low Light said. "Thanks to the Mass Device we can teleport down, blow 'em up and catch those snakes with their pants down!"

"We did catch one with his pants down!" Althea snickered. "I'll never forget the look on that trooper's face as he came stumbling out of the toilet with his pants around his ankles! It was priceless! Pop quit hogging the rolls!" 

"Well if you want the rolls so bad here!" Shipwreck started throwing them at her.

"Not like that you lunatic!" Althea started throwing the rolls back.

"Yeah it's real interesting the things you see on a raid," Pietro said, ignoring the roll throwing. 

"It's also interesting how you guys always seem to come at meal times!" Scott snapped.

"So?" Todd asked. "We like the grub!" He used his tongue to snag a thrown roll and gulped it down.

"Ewww," Kitty winced. "Do you like, have to do that at the table?"

"You should count yourself lucky that there aren't any flies at the table," Wanda told her. 

"What does General Hawk have to say about all of you spending so much time here anyway?" Jean asked.

"He doesn't mind," Wanda told her.

"Why am I not surprised?" Logan groaned.

"Perhaps I should have a few words with him," Xavier said as he saw that now Lance and Fred were getting involved in the roll war.

"Hawk's on some kind of overnight briefing with some generals," Shipwreck told him. "He'll be back later tomorrow. GIVE ME THOSE ROLLS!" 

"YOU WANT 'EM? THEY'RE YOURS!" Althea started throwing them. Soon they were hitting members of the X-Men, which of course led to retaliatory strikes.

"Can't you do something?" Ororo asked Roadblock as the melee continued.

"We've tried," Roadblock sighed. "Lord knows we've tried…" 

"I still say we should try that experiment with the explosives to get 'em to learn some manners," Cover Girl said.

"Explosives?" Xavier blinked.

"Yeah in the silverware and…" She began.

"Forget it," Xavier held up his hand. "I don't want to know! Ow!" A roll hit his head.

"Oops," Kitty blinked. "Sorry Professor!"

"It's a good thing the Half-Pint didn't make the rolls tonight," Logan commented.

"I heard that!" Kitty whacked him with a roll.

"Great now our team's picking up their bad manners!" Scott groaned. Immediately a dozen rolls showered him. 

"Have some potatoes Shades!" Tabitha shouted as she threw a time bomb into the bowl of mashed potatoes.

"Tabitha! No!" Scott shouted. Too late, soon the entire room and everyone in it was covered with potatoes.

"Potatamoes!" Claudius shrieked happily licking mashed potatoes off his flippers.

"Po-tamoes!" Barney giggled. 

"Okay…rolls are one thing," Wanda growled. "But this is **war**!" 

"We're not going to be able to stop this are we?" Xavier sighed as the adults sat around while the students went at it.

"Not without a couple of tanks," Logan muttered. 

"Ah yes," Hank sighed. "Another evening of sophisticated conversation and fine dining at the Xavier Mansion for the Gifted."

"Gifted is not the word I was thinking of just now…"Roadblock sighed as the food fight went into full swing. 

***********************************************************************

"I still say they're a bad influence and the Professor should ban them from the mansion," Scott grumbled. It was late after dinner and several of the boys had just finished the dishes. The Misfits had teleported home hours ago.

"Well in their defense, they weren't the ones who blew up the mashed potatoes," Kurt groaned. "Or made that hole in the wall!" 

"Trinity knocked my glasses loose okay? I think those guys are up to something," Scott said. "And it's not just Lance. I wouldn't be surprised if they had some kind of hidden agenda!"

"Of course they do," Bobby said. "It's to make us nuts. And they're doing a great job of it!"

"No, it's something else," Scott said. "I don't know what it is, but I've got a gut feeling that just won't go away. They're up to something all right." 

"Scott will you please stop obsessing about this?" Bobby groaned. 

"Yeah forget about that!" Peter said. "What's really worrying me is what is Avalanche planning!"

"Yes," Scott growled. "Lance is bad."

"Very bad," Peter growled. "And very sneaky."

"Extremely sneaky," Scott said. "No telling what he's up to!" 

"He's up to something," Peter growled. "But what? What?" 

"Oh brother," Bobby groaned. "I see the Paranoia Patrol is at it again!" 

"He's got some plan for Kitty," Peter said. Both of them were standing together trying to figure things out. "But what?"

"Well that's a given," Scott said. "But there's something more! There's got to be! Alvers must have some kind of master plan behind all of this? But what? What is it?"

"You know what Gambit thinks?" Remy finally spoke. "Gambit thinks you two have finally lost your minds." 

"I'm serious," Scott said. "Lance is capable of anything!" 

"Forget him, he's an idiot," Kurt snapped. "If any of them are a menace its Pietro!"

"I thought it was Toad you hated?" Bobby asked.

"Well ever since Althea came along he's been a bit more mellow," Kurt said. 

"Althea!" Scott smacked his forehead with his hand. "Of course! How could I have been so stupid! She's the leader of those morons! If anyone has any plot against us it's her!" 

"Oh lord give me strength," Kurt moaned.

"It's so obvious!" Scott paced back and forth. "She's the brains of the gang! She has some kind of sick twisted plot! But what is her angle?"

"Maybe her angle is to get you all so paranoid you all go crazy," Remy drawled. 

"It's working," Kurt sighed. 

"It's still Lance we have to watch out for!" Peter said. "What if he decides to use that teleportation device to sneak into her room and attack her?"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Kurt shouted. "Avalanche couldn't sneak into a war zone! Let alone Kitty's room!"

Suddenly there was the sound of a very loud radio playing from outside. _" I will always love you!" _Lance's voice could be heard through the entire mansion.

"I rest my case!" Kurt teleported outside with Scott and Peter and they found Lance was singing outside the mansion. He was on a makeshift stage and had a very loud and very powerful microphone with him. 

"LANCE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Peter shouted.

"I'm serenading Kitty!" Lance snapped. 

"I'm his DJ!" Shipwreck waved in the back. He had sunglasses on and he was in charge of some very large music equipment. 

"GET OUTTA HERE!" Peter shouted charging at Lance. He changed to his armored form.

"MAKE ME!" Lance shouted, creating a small tremor. 

"KNOCK IT OFF THE BOTH OF YOU!" Kitty shouted as she ran out. "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THE TWO OF YOU? CAN'T YOU TWO GO EVEN ONE NIGHT WITHOUT FIGHTING?" 

"I was only trying to serenade you," Lance pouted. 

"You were trying to cause trouble!" Scott snapped.

"Zip it Scott!" Kitty whirled on him. "I am like so not in the mood for all of this! You're not exactly helping the situation any you know?"

"Me?" Scott yelped. "What did I do?"

"What did you do?" Kitty snapped. "Just what you always do! Set these two against each other! Sometimes you are just as big a jerk as they are sometimes! No you're worse! At least they act this way because they care about me! Not because they feel like they have to pull some macho big brother act!"

"You tell 'em girlfriend!" Shipwreck called out.

"Mr. Delgato will you please butt out or I will call your daughter on you!" Kitty shouted.

"I'll be quiet," Shipwreck stepped away. 

"Kitty I'm just trying to protect you!" Scott babbled. "I mean you are…"

"What?" Kitty raised an eyebrow. "A girl?"

"Well…yeah," Scott gulped.

"Uh oh," Lance skittered away very quickly.

"Now he's done it," Shipwreck gulped. 

"Wrong thing to say," Peter gulped as he saw Kitty tackle Scott. "Definitely the wrong thing to say!"

"What's going on?" Bobby asked.

"Lance was serenading Kitty, Peter and Scott interrupted and then Scott made a stupid comment about how Kitty needs protection because she's a girl," Remy told him. 

"KITTY! OW! OW! MY ARM! MY ARM!" Scott screamed.

"Yeah she's a real damsel in distress," Remy rolled his eyes. 

"Boy am I glad it's not me who's getting beaten up," Lance whispered to Peter.

"Me too," Peter winced as he watched the beating. 

"Uh I think we'd better get out of here before she decides to wail on all of us!" Shipwreck gulped.

"Good idea," Lance agreed. "See ya!" He and Shipwreck teleported off. 

"Uh," Bobby asked as several X-Men watched from afar. "Is anybody gonna help him?" 

"No way," Rogue huffed. "He deserves it."

"I ain't getting' in her way," Remy said. "Well other than this it's the first quiet evening we've had in a long time." 

"HELLLOOOOOO X-MANSION!" Jamie shouted into the microphone. "I WANNA ROCK!" He put on some sunglasses and started to sing. 

"You were saying?" Rogue said. 

Xavier sat from the window and had watched the entire thing. The phone rang on his desk and he answered it, knowing who it was. 

"Oh hello officer," Xavier sighed. "Nice to hear from you again." 


	8. The Three O'Clock in the Morning Mambo

**The Three O' Clock in the Morning Mambo**

"Well I see you had another pleasant talk with our friends from law enforcement," Hank commented as Xavier wheeled himself into the kitchen a few hours later. 

"What'd they say this time?" Logan asked.

"Oh the usual," Xavier sighed. "Truth is I think they're afraid to do much to us right now. But I definitely sensed that they were thinking about bringing in the lawyers."

"Chuck this is gone on far too long!" Logan said. "It's time we laid down the law! First thing in the morning you are gonna talk to Hawk and tell him to lay down some serious ground rules for those Misfits!" 

"We should practice what we preach," Hank sighed. "Some of our students are a bit too eager to stir up trouble as well." 

"Well we'll have a talk with the students in the morning," Xavier sighed. "Hopefully we can work something out after a good night's sleep." 

He had no idea that a good night's sleep was the last thing anyone would have that night.

************************************************************************

The alarm blared throughout the mansion. "What the…?" Kitty looked up blearily at her alarm clock. "It's three am! Who could be attacking us at this hour?"

"It's the inside alarm!" Scott ran by their room as the girls came out. "Somebody's inside the mansion!"

"Three guesses who?" Rogue groaned. Sure enough the X-Men went to the kitchen and found a huge mess. "I was right!"

Fred had a chef's hat on was arguing with Pietro over something. There was batter all over the walls and the floor. There was flour everywhere as well. Several of the Misfits and the adults were covered in it as well as the babies. There was fruit splattered everywhere. Polly the parrot, covered in flour was flying around. "I am the ghost of Christmas past! AWWK!" 

"Oh god…" Kitty rolled her eyes. "This is way too early in the morning for this!" 

"What are all of you doing here?" Scott shouted.

"We've decided to make breakfast for you!" Fred said cheerfully.

"AT THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?" Scott shouted.

"Well I wanted to make myself a snack first," Fred shrugged. 

"Which means Blob eats all the food!" Wanda snapped.

"I'm not the one who set off the alarm!" Fred snapped.

"No but you are the one that started the fruit fight!" Wanda snapped.

"Hold it!" Xavier wheeled in. "You all broke into our home at three in the morning just to make us breakfast."

"And instead they wrecked the place," Kitty groaned. "Typical."

"Look we just wanted to apologize for dinner and make it up to you," Todd said. "Even thought it wasn't all our fault!" 

"What? You're saying it was our fault?" Rogue snapped. 

"Hey we're not the one's being anti-social," Lance told her. 

"Lance!" Kitty snapped. "Never mind! I can't take this at this time of day!" She stormed out.

"Kitty wait!" Lance followed her out. 

"Okay why are you letting them do this?" Xavier asked the adults.

"Because the kids wanted to make amends," Shipwreck said. "We only want our two teams to be one happy family!"

"HA!" Rogue laughed. 

"What you calling Shipwreck a liar?" Wanda growled. 

"Bingo!" She snapped. "Being a family is the last thing you guys have ever wanted to be with us!"

"Well you guys aren't exactly the type of folks people warm up to ya know?" Pietro snapped.

"Here we go," Logan groaned as the kids started to bicker amongst themselves. 

"Let's all go talk in the hall while the kids have another brawl," Roadblock suggested. They left just as some of the youngsters started to throw plates at each other.

"Look as much as I can appreciate the gesture," Xavier sighed. "You all cannot simply barge in here whenever you want!"

"Why not?" Shipwreck asked. "I said we wanted to act like a family."

"I think I need to go have a drink," Logan staggered away. 

"Families do not barge in on each other's personal space!" Xavier reasoned.

"You have obviously never met my mother or any of my aunts," Roadblock said. 

"Uh Chuck," Logan said walking back. "Remember when I suggested that you call Hawk and tell him to lay down the law. That may not be such a good idea." He pointed to the scene in the living room. 

"Oh my…" Spirit blinked at the sight of several people dancing in the living room. "This was unexpected." 

"Everybody Mambo!" Hawk shouted as he led a group of very tipsy generals in a conga line. 

"WHAT ARE THOSE GENERALS DOING IN MY LIVING ROOM?" Xavier shouted.

"It appears to be the Congo," Spirit said matter of factly. 

"I thought it was the Mambo," One general hiccuped.

"Hawk…" Xavier growled.

"Hey Charley," Hawk waved happily. "I was just showing the boys here how the Mass Device works! It's great for parties!"

"Yeah!" Another general hiccuped. "We hit Rio, London, and New Orleans in one night! How sweet is that?" 

"Oh my god…" Xavier put his head into his hand. "I don't believe this!"

"Neither do I," Shipwreck said. "There's a drunken party going on and I had nothing to do with it! Hey guys! Wait for me!" He followed them.

Only to be stopped by Althea. "Down boy!" She snapped. 

"Aww," Shipwreck pouted. "You don't let me have any fun!" 

"Are you satisfied?" Scott snapped at Xavier. "Are you satisfied! I told you something like this was gonna happen? But did you listen to me? Noooooooo!" 

"Roadblock we seriously need to think about this arrangement we have!" Xavier said. "I mean look at this! Our lives have become seriously disrupted!"

"Now calm down Xavier it is not that bad," Shipwreck said. 

"Not that bad?" Xavier yelled. "Not that bad? There is a conga line of military personnel in my house!" 

"Don't worry they won't remember anything!" Shipwreck waved.

"You got that right," Xavier said putting his hands to his temple. "Oh great, they're wearing those mental block band aids aren't they?" 

"Never leave home with out them!" Hawk danced by with his group. "And one, two…cha, cha, cha! One, two, cha, cha, cha!" 

"Okay you gotta expect some fights," Shipwreck said. "I mean this is a big adjustment having our two teams trying to learn to work together! Sure there are bound to be a few squabbles and disagreements…"

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU JERKS!" Kurt could be heard screaming.

"MAKE US FURBALL!" Fred screamed. The sound of explosions could be heard.

"KITTY I SWEAR I DIDN'T INVITE TABITHA INTO MY ROOM!" Peter could be heard next.

"LIKELY STORY PAL!" Lance shouted. "IF YOU LIKE KITTY SO MUCH WHY DO YOU KEEP CHASING OTHER WOMEN?"

"I AM NOT CHASING OTHER WOMEN! SHE IS CHASING ME! BESIDES YOU'RE THE LAST ONE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SUBJECT LANCE!" Peter shouted.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Lance yelled back.

"HE MEANS YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILLOW THAT'S WHAT!" Kitty shouted.

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD…" Lance shouted.

"Awwwk!" Polly flew by with something in his beak. 

"GIVE ME BACK MY HEADBAND YOU STUPID BIRD!" Jean ran by chasing it. 

"KITTY YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT ME SEEING WILLOW DURING THE TIME WE BROKE UP!" Lance shouted. "CORRECTION, WHEN YOU DUMPED ME TO GO OUT WITH HIM!" 

"He's got a point," Todd remarked.

"WHO ASKED YOU?" Kitty snapped. There was more yelling and the sound of more things getting wrecked.

"Okay a lot of fights where things get wrecked," Shipwreck sighed. "But these are teenagers we are talking about. Mutant teenagers mind you! Things are bound to get destroyed every now and then!"

"Every now and then?" Xavier winced as he heard something break. 

"Well what do you expect Charles?" Roadblock said. "These kids have been trained to hate each other since way back! It's not gonna go away overnight!"

"Oh really?" Xavier said sarcastically as another small tremor shook the house. "You think?"

"Maybe what these kids need is some counseling?" Shipwreck suggested. 

"It's gonna take a lot more than counseling bub," Logan told him. "We're gonna need the National Guard!" 

"Okay so we have problems but if we don't try to work them out things will never get better between our two groups," Shipwreck said. "If you think about it all these fights…as destructive as they are show that our kids have problems dealing with people like a lot of other kids their age. It just so happens that these kids can level entire cities."

"OKAY WHERE IS XI?" Tabitha stormed into the room. She was covered with flour. "That overgrown gecko just dumped flour all over me!"

"Serves you right!" Amara's voice could be heard.

"DO YOU WANT A FAT LIP?" Tabitha ran out again. The sound of more things breaking could be heard. 

They went outside the library and watched the kids fighting amongst themselves. "We really need to get these kids some counseling," Roadblock said. "Maybe we should call Psyche-Out?" 

"I don't know if we need to go that far," Logan said. 

"And over here we see the main elevator to the Danger Room," Pietro walked ahead of the generals with a bullhorn. 

"What are you doing?" Xavier screamed.

"Giving a guided tour of the mansion of course! This way people! We're walking…we're walking…" Pietro called out as they rounded the corner. 

"Okay…that was a little weird…" Shipwreck blinked. 

CRASH!

"Oh great!" Hank groaned. "Now there's another hole in the wall!" 

"What's the earliest Psyche-Out can get here?" Xavier groaned. 


	9. This is Not the Way to Get Healthy

**This Is Not The Way To Get Healthy**

"I can't believe we have to do this," Rogue groaned. Both Misfits and X-Men were assembled in the hallway. 

"Who's stupid idea was this anyway?" Scott grumbled. 

"It was Shipwreck's idea," Pietro replied matter of factly. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Group therapy," Scott groaned. "I can't believe it's come to this! Professor why are we all doing this? Isn't it obvious we can't get along? Why are you putting us through this?" 

"Because we have to learn to get along with each other," Xavier said as he started to swallow some aspirin. "Part of the dream of getting along with humans is to learn to get along with other mutants as well. Not to mention certain humans who are absolute lunatics but this must work. It's got to work!"

"Is it me or is he starting to develop the same kind of twitches Principal Kelly used to get?" Kitty asked. 

"I think you might be right," Rogue said. 

"Where shall we start?" Psyche-Out walked out and looked at his list. "Who's in the first group?" 

"I think we should start with some family counseling," Xavier said. "Rogue, Kurt, Wanda and Pietro should go first." 

"You're putting those four together?" Logan blinked. "You really like to tempt fate don't ya Chuck?" 

"Good thing the rest of us are staying out here," Shipwreck sighed. 

"Someone has to in order to make sure another fight doesn't break out," Ororo pointed to the students. Several of which were already giving each other dirty looks. 

"All right let's have the first group in now shall we?" Xavier was trying to put a positive outlook on things. Soon the four teens were in Xavier's private study with Psyche-Out and Xavier. 

"Welcome to family counseling," Psyche-Out said. 

"Some family," Rogue grumbled. "The only thing we got in common is a bunch of genes from a couple of psychotic megalomaniacs!" 

"Yeah and on top of that we're also related to Mystique and Magneto," Kurt quipped.

"Very funny Blue Boy!" Pietro growled. 

"Okay one ground rule I want to establish right now," Xavier said. "No name calling!"

"So I can't call him Furball?" Pietro asked.

"No," Xavier said.

"And I can't call him Worm Boy?" Pietro asked.

"No."

"And I can't call him Stupid Head," Pietro asked.

"No."

"Not even Demon Boy, Point Ears, or Stink Fur?"

"No, no, and especially no!" 

"Yeah like I can't call you Jerkface!" Kurt snapped. "Or Speed Freak or Quickstupid. I'd like to call you those names but I can't." 

"You can't call him a backstabbing lunatic either," Rogue said. "Or a flaming egomaniac, or a prissy little twerp."

"Right," Wanda said. "Just like we can't call you Skunk Hair."

"Or call you a mental case, even though that's what you are!" Rogue snapped.

"Uh I think we're getting off the track here…" Psyche-Out gulped. 

None of the kids were listening to him. "Micro Brain!" Kurt shouted at Pietro.

"Bamph Breath!" Pietro snapped back.

"Vampire!" Wanda snapped.

"Witch!" Rogue snapped.

"Long Tailed Loony!" Pietro snapped. 

"Bad Fashion Victim!" Kurt shouted.

"You take that back!" Pietro jumped on him. The two started tussling.

"Oh you are going down!" Rogue growled at Wanda.

"Bring it on sister!" Wanda snapped. 

"ENOUGH!" Xavier shouted so loud that all of them stopped fighting and looked at him. "This is not the way to work out your problems! Sit back down and behave yourselves right now!"

"They started it," Kurt grumbled as he sat back down on the couch.

"I don't care!" Xavier rubbed his temples. "The point of this is to bring this family closer together. That's what you all are, like it or not."

"Xavier is right," Psyche-Out said. "Let's face it, you're all the blood relatives you have in this world. If you don't count your biological parents."

"The ones we know about anyway like in Fuzzy's case," Pietro said. 

"What are you talking about?" Kurt looked at him.

"You never did find out who your real daddy was did you?" Pietro smirked.

"No…" Kurt looked at him. "What are you getting at?"

"Pietro shut up," Wanda glared at him. "They didn't finish the tests yet, remember? So we don't know for sure!" 

"What tests?" Kurt looked around. "What is he talking about Professor?"

"Don't look at me," Xavier looked interested. "This is the first I've heard of it. Psyche-Out are you saying that the Joes know who Kurt's biological father really is?" 

"We have a possible lead," Psyche-Out said. "We're waiting for a few more tests before we can be sure."

"What kind of tests? Who do you think it is? How long will it take?" Kurt asked. 

"A while," Psyche-Out said carefully. "I didn't want to say anything until we were absolutely sure so we wouldn't get your hopes up." 

"I don't know why you're so anxious to find out anyway," Wanda grumbled. 

"Look just because your natural father is a psychopath doesn't mean that mine is horrible!" Kurt snapped.

"He's my dad too, remember!" Rogue whacked him with a pillow from the couch.

"How could we forget?" Pietro whacked her with a pillow from his couch. "That jerk ruined all our lives! He experimented on all of us! And three of us are his own kids! We all hate him!" 

"All right I think we all agree on that," Psyche-Out said. "We're making progress."

"This is progress?" Xavier asked.

"Yes," Psyche-Out said. "Now that the kids should have a focus point on their anger. I mean one of the main reasons they loathe each other is because of Magneto."

"Loathe is a very strong word to use," Xavier said.

"It's pretty accurate if you ask me," Rogue folded her arms. 

"No one did!" Wanda snapped. 

"Okay I prepared a little exercise for you," Psyche-Out took out a dummy dressed in red. "This is to help you vent out your frustrations. Pretend this dummy is Magneto. I want each of you to tell it how you feel. You can even hit it. Kurt I want you to go first."

"You want me to play with a doll?" Kurt stood up and looked at the dummy.

"It's a therapeutic tool, not a doll," Psyche-Out said. "And right now it's Magneto. Just tell it how you feel."

"I feel rather ridiculous doing this," Kurt said.

"Fine," Pietro shoved him out of the way and grabbed the dummy. "Then I'll start. I hate you Father! You are a self absorbed egocentric jerk!"

"So that's where he gets it from," Kurt muttered. 

"I did everything to try and please you but was that good enough? Noooooo!" Pietro shook the dummy violently. "Would it have killed you to even come to one of my basketball games? Huh? Would it? Just once! Just freaking once just show up and say 'Way to go Pietro'! Is that so hard, huh? Is it?" He started to punch the dummy so hard, stuffing started to fall out.

"Hey at least you weren't locked up!" Wanda shoved him aside. "You locked me away in that mental hospital for years and didn't even visit me! Well I'm pretty sure you didn't visit me. Mastermind's brainwashing mixed up my memories so much I'm not fully sure what's real anymore! By the time I did remember what you did to me I was stuck with you! Stuck with those idiots in that house…AGGGGHHH!" She blasted the dummy with her hex bolts into the wall several times.

"Okay…just let it out Wanda," Psyche-Out said calmly.

"My turn!" Rogue grabbed the dummy. "I don't even know where to begin with you daddy dearest! I was nothing more than an experiment for you to play with you jerk!" Rogue punched the dummy with her super strength hard enough for it to go flying into the wall, making very large dents in it."

"Okay now that is not a healthy expression of anger," Psyche-Out gulped. 

"Rogue! Control yourself," Xavier told her. "Other wise I won't have a study left!"

"Me again!" Pietro zoomed over and started to rip out the stuffing. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" He grabbed the dummy's head with his teeth and started to tear at it, growling.

"Pietro I think that's enough anger for one day," Psyche-Out gulped as the stuffing started to fly around the room.

"Okay I got one," Kurt grabbed the dummy. "How dare you do genetic experiments on me and make me related to these maniacs!"

"Who are you calling a maniac?" Wanda snapped.

"If the straightjacket fits…" Kurt snapped. 

"That's it! Wanda hexed him into the wall. 

"Quit it!" Rogue shouted as she tackled Wanda. 

"You quit it!" Pietro attacked Rogue. Soon all four of them were fighting each other. 

Outside in the hallway all anyone could hear were things breaking and screaming. "What is going on in there?" Logan asked.

"It sounds like a war zone in there," Ororo said.

"Yeah that's pretty much a typical session with Psyche-Out," Cover Girl sighed. 

"AGGGGHHH!" Psyche-Out and Xavier were thrown through the doorway into the hall. 

"Oops," Wanda gulped as she looked out the broken door. "Sorry."

"Now look what you've done!" Rogue snapped. 

"Well if somebody hadn't bent my arm and deflected my hex-bolt…" Wanda growled. 

"Will all of you knock it off!" Logan looked at the both of them lying on the floor. "Chuck are you okay?"

"Oh yes," Xavier said in a strange tone. "I'm fine coach. Just give me a minute and I'll be back on the field!"

"What happened?" Ororo asked.

"I think Wanda zapped him too hard," Shipwreck said.

"Ya think?" Ororo snapped. 

"We will be continuing on to the next group," Psyche-Out gasped. "After we take a ten minute break." He then passed out on the floor. 

"Oh great!" Scott groaned. "Yeah therapy is really gonna help solve our problems!" 

"I think the only way to solve our problems is…" Logan started to say.

"With a bunch of tanks!" Hank snapped. "We know! We know!" He looked at the students who were fighting again. "And I think you may be on to something…" 


	10. Let's Rethink This Relationship Now, Sha...

****

Let's Rethink this Relationship Now Shall We?

"Okay now Lance and Kitty welcome to couple's counseling," Psyche-Out said. He had regained consciousness half an hour ago. 

"If thisis a couple's counseling session why are all of them here?" Kitty asked as she pointed to the room filled with all the X-Men and Misfits.

"Because your stupid relationship affects all of us that's why!" Althea said.

"Yeah they wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for the two of you!" Kurt pointed to the Misfits.

"You got that right Blue Boy!" Todd stuck his tongue out at him. 

"Will you all please calm down?" Psyche-Out told them. "Now I think that this is the perfect time to go over and express your feelings."

"Fine," Lance sighed. "I…"

"We know how you feel Lance!" Scott snapped.

"Will you let him finish?" Althea said. 

"Why? We all know what he's gonna say!" Bobby asked.

"It doesn't matter! It's group therapy and he should be allowed to express himself!" Todd said.

"Yeah and if you don't let him express himself I'm gonna pound you!" Fred made a fist.

"Oh yeah we can see therapy really helps you!" Kurt groaned.

"You want your tail tied up in a knot?" Pietro snapped. This broke out into a huge argument between the two groups.

"ENOUGH! SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!" Kitty screamed, stopping the argument. "LANCE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" 

"What do you mean my fault?" Lance shouted. 

"Every time you come over here fights break out, things get wrecked…" Kitty stomped her foot. "It's been like this since the beginning! Whenever we get together something happens! Like when we first met and you were trying to use me to get cheat answers and ended up wrecking the entire school!"

"I thought you forgave me for that!" Lance shouted. "Once you forgive somebody you're not supposed to throw it back in their face!"

"He's got a point Kitty," Jean said. "The rest of us however haven't forgiven him for that so we can use that all we want!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Lance groaned. "I made a mistake! Didn't any of you even think of asking me why I needed to sell those test answers? Huh?"

"Yeah you had an agenda against the school if I recall," Kitty snapped. 

"Besides that," Lance sighed. "I was trying to save enough money so I could leave town for good and get away from my crappy life in that foster home!"

"Well you ended up leaving anyway after you destroyed the school!" Kitty snapped. 

"How many times do I have to say it was an accident?" Lance cried. "When you left…I just freaked!"

"You see Lance has abandonment issues," Fred pointed out. 

"Fred stay out of this please!" Lance groaned.

"Yeah the last thing we need is for all of us to be analyzed by an illiterate mountain of muscle," Rogue grumbled. 

"I am not illiterate!" Fred said angrily. "My parents were married in a church and everything. Okay my dad took off later, but he was married to my mom when he did it, so there! Lance is the one who's illiterate!" 

"That's illegitimate salami brain!" Pietro snapped. "Lance is illegitimate!"

"Oh thanks a lot guys," Lance groaned. 

"Well it's not your fault you don't know who your real dad is," Todd spoke up. "I mean when your mom and her current boyfriend kicked the bucket there weren't exactly a lack of candidates either."

"Shut up Toad," Lance groaned.

"And your other relatives didn't even want you," Pietro said. "I can relate to that."

"Yeah they found Lance wandering around in a toy store when he was four with only his blanket and a note pinned to his clothes," Todd said. "Free to a good home: One kid with a runny nose." 

"Hence the abandonment issues," Fred said. 

"Why don't you just tell my whole freakin' life story why don't you?" Lance shouted. "Who are you guys? My biographers?" 

"Lance I'm sorry you had such a hard life and all," Kitty said. "But that doesn't excuse you from your actions!" 

"But you gotta admit it explains some of it," Rogue said. 

"Whose side are you on?" Ray asked. "I thought the plan was to break the two of them up?" 

"That's your plan so you can get Tabby off your back," Rogue said. 

"I thought she was off his back and on Peter's," Pietro snickered.

"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT!" Peter stood up. "I am going to say this out loud once and for all! I have never, ever expressed any interest in Tabitha whatsoever! The only girl I have ever wanted was Kitty! It's Tabitha who was wrecking things just because she was jealous!" 

"Well it serves her right for stealing everybody's boyfriends!" Tabitha said angrily. "She's acting like Jean!"

"Hey!" Jean snapped.

"Well you gotta admit it is a bit accurate," Pietro said.

"Pietro will you shut up!" Amara snapped. "And you! The reason you lost Ray in the first place was that you never trusted him! Right Ray? Ray?"

Ray was looking at Althea who has her jacket off and was wearing a blue tank top. "Uh…yeah?"

Both Althea and Todd caught this. "What are you doing?" Todd asked. "You looking at my girl?"

"I think he is!" Althea looked at him. "Sorry pal, I'm taken!"

"You were looking at Althea?" Amara gasped.

"Well I was just trying to figure out what she sees in him," Ray scratched his head. "I mean she is pretty hot for crying out loud!"

"Why don't you cool off?" Althea growled as she redirected some water from a nearby vase onto his head.

"I don't believe this!" Amara shouted. "Here I am defending you and you're checking out other girls!" 

"You are a total slimeball!" Tabitha shouted. "This is exactly how it happened with me!"

"See Kitty I'm innocent!" Peter told her. He got down on one knee before her.

"Oh give me a break!" Lance growled.

"Kitty ever since the first time we talked I have thought of no one else but you," Peter said. "You are my heart…my soul…my reason for being!"

"Out of the way pal," Lance shoved him. "She's mine now!" 

"I won't let you take her!" Peter shoved him back. They started to tussle.

At the exact same time Tabitha and Amara were screaming at Ray. "I can't believe I was ever jealous of Kitty for trying to take you away from me!" Tabitha shouted.

"You can have him!" Amara snapped. 

"But…but…" Ray gasped.

"So once again all of this trouble is really caused by the X-Geeks," Pietro snickered.

"No it isn't!" Jean shouted. Soon everyone was fighting in the room.

Except for Kitty. She stood there watching the arguments and fights until she couldn't take any more. "**WILL ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP FIGHTING YOU JERKS!" **

"Something tells me Kitty is a bit miffed," Pietro quipped. 

"I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!" Kitty screamed as she used her powers to run through the door. "I AM OUT OF HERE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LUNATICS AGAIN!" 

"Kitty!" Both Lance and Peter cried. They chased after her. 

"You creep!" Amara slapped Ray.

"I can't believe I ever dated you!" Tabitha snapped as she slapped him. 

"Neither can I!" Amara snapped. "See Tabitha, it wasn't Kitty's fault at all! It was all **his** fault!"

"How could I have been so stupid!" Tabitha groaned. "I can't believe I was trying to get back at her when it was all his fault!" She slapped Ray again. 

"You are the biggest pig!" Amara slapped Ray again. "You just let this happen and you didn't even say anything!"

"But…" Ray started to speak. 

"Shut up, you liar!" Tabitha slapped him. "You could have just admitted you were lusting after Kitty but you preferred to sink our friendship instead!" 

"You are such a…such a…**_Peasant_**!" Amara slapped him again. "No I take that back, most peasants have better manners and are a lot more honest! We are so through!"

"Don't even think of crawling back to me you worm!" Tabitha slapped Ray again.

"Louse!" Amara slapped him.

"Pig!" Tabitha slapped him.

"ENOUGH WITH THE SLAPPING ALREADY!" Ray screamed. "I GET THE MESSAGE!" 

"I don't think you do," Amara slapped him again. 

"Let's get him!" Tabitha started to power up.

"Good idea," So did Amara. "You want a hot girlfriend buster! Well now you got one!" 

"Mr. Logan…" Ray started to back away.

"Don't look at me kid," Logan said. "You are on your own!"

"AAHHHHHHHHHGGGGGHHH!" Ray fled out into the hall with Amara and Tabitha at his heels. 

"Come on Storm, we'd better get the fire extinguishers," Hank sighed as they ran after them. 

"How much you wanna bet they're gonna blame this on us?" Althea said.

"Well if you nuts didn't come over here all the time…" Scott growled. Soon everyone was arguing again.

Psyche-Out sighed. "Anybody got any more aspirin?" 

"Take mine," Xavier handed him some. 

"This didn't go very well did it?" Shipwreck whistled. 

"I am seriously beginning to rethink about this arrangement," Xavier grumbled.

****

Next: Kitty is missing! Well, not really…but Lance thinks so! Oh no…more trouble. 


	11. Kitty Come Home!

**Now here's some pointless deranged Kitty torture…Hey I've tortured everyone else! Fair is fair. **

**Kitty Come Home!**

Several hours later a girl with brown hair in a trenchcoat and a fedora like hat sat alone at a table in a small restaurant. Kitty had decided to hide her features so that she wouldn't be recognized and accosted by any of the people in town. Particularly the ones she wanted to avoid. Namely the people she lived with. 

The waitress sashayed over to her table. "Another Root Beer Float hon?"

"Yup," Kitty said. "Keep 'em coming."

"This is your fifth one kiddo," The waitress raised an eyebrow. "Ain't you had enough?"

"I'll tell you when I've had enough," Kitty grumbled as she put down some money. "When I run outta green. That's when I've had enough." 

"Sounds like you got some serious trouble," She said.

"You don't know the half of it sister."

"Man trouble?"

"Is there any other kind?" Kitty sighed. 

"Boyfriend cheating on you?"

"Worse, I got two boys fighting over me. And they're both lunatics."

"Wanna talk?" 

"Might as well," Kitty sighed. "Everybody else knows about it! I don't know how this happened. I don't know what I did but boy did I do it! They've been fighting over me day and night! And you wanna know what the worst part is? I love 'em both…in different ways maybe but I love 'em both. And I can't choose between the two of them right now."

"Honey, keep the cash," The waitress said. "This one's on me." She went away.

"I can't take much more of this," She sighed. "This day cannot get any crazier!" 

Just then there was a commotion. "Hey! Why is the game being interrupted?" Someone shouted. Kitty looked up and saw there was a huge big screen TV that could be seen throughout the entire restaurant. 

"We interrupt this program for an important news bulletin," The announcer said. "Uh…apparently we have a missing girl and her friends are trying to find her. One Kitty Pryde." 

"What?" Kitty looked at the television. An image of her appeared on screen. "Oh no…" 

"KITTY WHERE ARE YOU?" Lance appeared on the screen. 

"This is not happening," Kitty sank lower into her seat. 

"Kitty come back to me!" Lance cried out. "I know we can work things out! Come back to therapy with me!"

"You're the one who needs therapy!" Peter's voice could be heard off stage.

"Shut up!" Lance snapped. "If anyone out there knows where she is, please call! She could be hurt or lost out there somewhere! Someone help her please!"

An image of Pietro appeared on screen. He was dressed in a tuxedo and held a rose in his hand. "Actually it's all those other lovely ladies out there who need help. Ladies, do you need a real man to keep you warm on those lonely nights? The number to call is 555-QUICKSILVER. Again that's…" 

"PIETRO WILL YOU QUIT INFLATING YOUR ALREADY OVERSTUFFED EGO FOR A MINUTE?" Lance screamed as the camera turned back to him. "KITTY COULD BE IN REAL TROUBLE FOR ALL WE KNOW!" 

"Lance will you forget about Kitty already?" Althea shouted from offstage. 

"Maybe we'll get lucky and she's lying in a ditch somewhere dead," Todd said off camera. 

"I wouldn't go that far Toad," Pietro's voice could be heard next. "Lance isn't that lucky."

"Shut up you!" Lance ran out of sight from the camera. 

"Kitty please come back!" Peter appeared on camera next. "You know I'm the one you really love!"

"This is not my life…" Kitty moaned. 

"Kitty all your friends are here worried about you," Peter went on. "Your real friends! Not these morons who keep invading our house! Friends like your roommate! She has something important to tell you because she's worried about you!"

"That doesn't sound like Rogue," Kitty said to herself. 

"I got something to say all right! I told you this would end in doom!" Rogue's face appeared on the screen. "And surprise, surprise…I was right!"

"Okay **that **sounds like Rogue!" Kitty groaned. 

"Kitty you'd better get back here!" Rogue snapped. "It's your fault these loons are over here in the first place!"

"For once we agree on something!" Wanda appeared. "If you didn't keep dangling Lance on a string he'd have never wanted to come visit you from the beginning!" 

"Kitty I know you left because of Lance!" Peter shouted. "Please come home! Or contact me at least!" 

"Don't even think about it Metal Muscles!" Lance ran back in. "You're not horning in on my girlfriend any more!" 

"Who says she's your girlfriend?" Peter snapped. Both boys began to fight.

"She's mine!" Lance snapped.

"No mine!" Peter shouted. 

"This is like totally humiliating," Kitty moaned as the boys fought on TV as the other kids took bets on the outcome. 

"If any of you know where Miss Pryde is please contact this studio before it caves in on us," The announcer said. "Please!" 

"I think it's time for me to leave," Kitty decided to sneak out the door.

However this did not go unnoticed. "Hey! Isn't that her?" One person shouted and pointed at her. 

"Hey isn't she the freak whose boyfriend destroyed the school?" One person shouted.

"Yeah!" A former teacher stood up. "I lost my job over budget cuts because of that!"

"I always wanted to pop one of them one," Another person growled. 

"I remember her!" Another man shouted. "I used to be a driving instructor before she came along!"

"Let's get her!" They all shouted. Kitty was soon running from them as fast as she could. 

"Great!" Kitty groaned. "This is the second time this month I'm being chased by an angry mob!" 

She managed to easily ditch them by ducking into a few alleys and phasing into a nearby building. "Well wherever this is, it's better than out there," She breathed a sigh of relief.

"SHE'S MINE!" 

"NO MINE!" The ground shook.

"It's official," Kitty groaned. "I'm cursed!" 

She peeked around the corner and found herself in the news station. She saw several of her friends fighting with the Misfits. "Maybe I should try going back outside," She muttered. 

"Hey there she is!" Todd pointed. "There's Kitty!" 

"So much for that plan," Kitty rolled her eyes. 

"Kitty I was so worried about you!" Lance bounded over. 

"I noticed," Kitty said icily. 

"We couldn't find you using Cerebro so I thought of using the TV station to locate you!" Lance beamed. "Great idea huh?"

"Yeah it was so great that I was nearly trampled to death by an angry mob!" Kitty snapped.

"But I was worried about you! You were gone so long!" Lance said.

"Two hours, Lance! I was gone two hours!" She snapped. 

"I told you this plan was stupid!" Peter snapped.

"We found her didn't we?" Lance snapped at him. 

"Shut up!" Peter snapped.

"You shut up!" Lance shouted.

"Make me!" Peter growled. Soon both boys were fighting.

"Maybe if I'm lucky I can find that mob again," Kitty groaned. 


	12. Teleportation Wars

**Well, here's the final chapter. Is this the end of the madness? What do you think? **

****

Teleportation Wars

Needless to say, when everyone returned to the mansion, things were not better. While Lance and Kitty went out to have a heart to heart in the garden, the X-Men and the Misfits were squaring off again. "Why don't you Misfit Maniacs just buzz off?" Kurt growled.

"Yeah why don't you X-Geek Goons get down off your high horse?" Todd snapped. He spat out some of his slime at him.

Kurt teleported to the chandelier above. "Ha! You can't slime me Wart Breath!" 

"Oh yeah well now two can play that game fuzzy!" Todd snapped as he pressed the button on his watch. He disappeared only to appear on the chandelier as well. "Ah Ha!" 

"Uh oh!" Kurt gulped as the chandelier started to break away from the ceiling. He teleported before it came crashing down. 

So did Todd. He landed on a statue and broke it. "Ow…"

"Ha!" Kurt stuck his tongue at him.

"Okay, now it's personal!" Todd started playing with his teleporter. Soon both him and Kurt were having their own battle, chasing each other using teleportation all over the house, wrecking things. 

"Well this is something you don't see every day," Pietro quipped as they watched the battle.

"Will you guys stop wrecking our house?" Scott shouted. 

"Oh yeah, like we're the only ones who put holes in the walls around here!" Fred snapped.

"I've had enough of this!" Jean stormed off. 

"Jean wait!" Scott followed her. They left the others and started to walk down the hallway. "I'm sorry if those guys upset you."

"I AM NOT UPSET BECAUSE OF THAT SCOTT!" Jean shouted.

"Well…I um…" Scott fidgeted. 

"Sorry. Didn't mean to take it out on you. Look I'm just getting sick and tired of all this petty bickering," Jean said. "And quite frankly Scott, its not all the Misfits' fault! Got it?"

"What do you mean?" 

"What do you mean, 'what do I mean'? What do you think I mean?" Jean asked, exasperated. "You know it wouldn't hurt you to look at things from their perspective once in a while you know!" 

"Yes it would. What are you talking about."

"I've been thinking. Remember when we were in that therapy session earlier today?"

"How could I forget? I still have the bite marks from Toad on my arm," He showed it to her. "Does this look infected to you? I mean I know Beast examined it and everything but still…"

"Scott you are totally missing the point here!" Jean fumed. "I'm talking about when we were hearing about Lance's life. It got me to thinking." 

"Well I've been thinking too," Scott sighed.

"You have?"

"Yeah for one thing we have got to increase the team's defense," Scott said. "Those guys have never been able to really match us in a fight before! I think it's because Althea who actually has a brain is leading them now. You can certainly tell Alvers isn't in charge."

"SCOTT WILL YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR STUPID RIVALRY WITH LANCE FOR ONE MINUTE AND LISTEN TO ME?" Jean shouted. "God you are so…you can be such a…AGGGHHH!"

"Jean calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Jean snapped. "Scott didn't you hear a word of what those guys were saying in there? When they were talking about Lance and how he was treated and everything? How they've all been treated! I mean if you think about it, it does explain their behavior."

"And you fell for that?" 

"Scott you have to admit that at least the Misfits are trying to get along with us, somewhat," Jean said. "I mean why else would they keep coming here all the time if they didn't?"

"I don't know but I know it's some kind of plan!" Scott growled. "I know it! There has to be a plan to either get back at us or use us for something!" 

"You're really a very paranoid person you know!" Jean said as she walked away.

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!" Scott defended himself as he followed her. 

************************************************************************

"I swear Lance I don't know what to do with you!" Kitty paced back and forth in the garden.

"Kitty…" Lance whined.

"I mean why do I do it? Really? Why do I do it?" Kitty fumed. 

"But…"

"Can't you stay out of trouble for one day?" She whirled on him. "Just one day! That's all I ask! Is that so hard for you?"

"But I…"

"Why is that so hard for you? Why Lance? Tell me! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't dump you for good this time!"

"Kitty please…"

"Give me a reason Lance!"

"I will if you'd stop shouting and let me!" Lance snapped. 

"I am not shouting!" Kitty snapped. "I am just voicing my opinions very loudly!"

"Well it sounds like shouting to me!" Lance snapped back.

"All right! So I am shouting! I'm shouting! I'm shouting! SATISFIED!" She screamed. She sighed and walked away from him. "Lance what are we going to do? We can't keep going on like this!"

"I know…"

"I mean this whole situation…it's done nothing but cause trouble and fighting," She sighed. "I know you had good intentions when you started this but like everything else it all falls apart." 

"I didn't mean it too," Lance told her. "I just wanted some time together, is that so wrong?"

"Well it is if all we do is fight," She turned back to him. 

"Kitty I swear I love you with all my heart," Lance told her. "I don't even care about Shipwreck's plan. I love you and that's all that matters."

"Wait a minute," Kitty raised an eyebrow. "Back up…what plan?"

"What?" Lance blinked.

"What plan?" 

"What plan?" Lance asked.

"The plan you mentioned," Kitty said, her voice getting annoyed. "The plan Shipwreck has. The plan you obviously don't want anybody to know about! What plan?"

"Shhh!" Lance looked around. "Keep your voice down!"

"Lance…" Kitty folded her arms.

"Okay, okay…" Lance sighed. "It's no big thing…it's just that Shipwreck had this idea that if we all spent a little more time around the X-Men…well…"

"Well what?"

"Well he figured sooner or later Cerebro would sound the alarm for more mutants and maybe that would give our team a head's up you know? So we could recruit a few mutants of our own."

"Wait are you telling me that the other loons you hang around with are only showing up so they can get new members?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't my idea! You gotta believe me!" 

"So that's why all of you have been hanging around here!" Kitty yelped. "I don't believe this!" 

"Kitty please don't tell on me," Lance pleaded. 

"I won't," She sighed. "I should, but I won't!" 

"Thanks," Lance sighed. "Look I know I tend to mess things up but…I only do these crazy things because I love you so much. I have never felt this way with anyone but you, and that includes Willow!"

"It does?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Sure," Lance shrugged. "We're nothing but friends now. She's e-mailed me a few times and is going out with another guy. And you know something; I don't feel a thing. Not a tiny bit jealous that she's dating another guy! I'm happy for her. Actually now that I think about it, since we broke up she's dated at least three other guys. But that's beside the point, the point is, it's you I want. Can't you see that it's my love for you that makes me act this crazy?"

"Oh Lance," Kitty sighed. 

"Will you please forgive me?" Lance took her in his arms. "Please?" 

"Oh all right," She sighed, hugging him back. "I gotta confess I care about you too. I must love you or something if I'm crazy enough to keep hanging on to you after all we've been through. Come on," They walked away. 

However they didn't realize that Scott and Jean had heard the whole thing behind the bushes. "Well I'm not gonna say I told you so," Scott said.

"But you just did, didn't you?" Jean asked. "Oh I should have known!" 

"I knew they were sneaky," Scott said in a half laugh. "But I had no idea how sneaky they were!" 

"I think we should tell the Professor about this don't you?" Jean asked.

"Definitely," Scott nodded.

************************************************************************

Half an hour later Lance and Kitty were walking back to the mansion. They had taken a brief walk in the woods to talk. "Now remember what you promised," Kitty said.

"All right," Lance said. "No more fights with Summers, The Russkie or anyone else. No more fighting."

"Good," Kitty opened the door. "No more fighting."

"I'M GONNA POUND YOU IDIOTS INTO NEXT WEEK!" Logan shouted.

"Hey can't you take a joke?" Shipwreck yelped. 

"Oh great," Lance groaned. "Now what are they fighting about?" They watched the X-Men and the Misfits engage in an all out brawl.

"YOU!" Peter howled as he changed into his armored form. He stormed towards Lance. "YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THIS!" 

"Hey back off Tin Man!" Lance instinctively threw out a tremor, lifting the floor that threw Peter backwards.

"LANCE!" Kitty shouted.

"Sorry Kitty old habits are hard to break!" Lance shouted. "OW!" He was hit in the shoulder by an eye blast. "You are dead Summers!"

"Bring in on you jerk!" Scott shouted. 

"YEOW!" Shipwreck ran by with Ororo summoning lightening to fry his butt. "Guys I think it's time we were leaving!" 

"Yeah let's blow this pop stand!" Fred shouted, grabbing Lance by the arm.

"Kitttyyyyyyyyyyy," Lance whined as he was dragged away. Before he knew it all the Misfits were off the mansion's property and down the block. 

"Well **that **went well," Althea groaned as she stopped to catch her breath.

"What happened?" Lance asked. 

"They found out about our plan, that's what happened," Todd snapped. "I can't believe Summers actually bit me!" He held up his arm. "Does this look infected to you?" 

"How did **they** find out?" Lance asked.

Althea glared at him. "They overheard **you **spill the beans to your precious Kitty you moron!" 

"Uh oh," Lance gulped. 

"Yeah uh oh is right!" Shipwreck snapped. He turned to Althea. "For once you can't say I screwed this up!" 

"We should have known Lance couldn't keep his mouth shut!" Pietro snapped. 

"Sorry," Lance gulped. "Well it's not like they weren't going to figure it out sooner or later!"

"We'd have preferred it to have been later," Roadblock snapped. "Much later!" 

"Let's just go home and get some rest!" Wanda sighed. "We can pulverize Lance when we get home!"

"I agree!" Pietro snapped. He pushed his button. "Hey nothing happened!" 

"What do you mean?" Althea asked. She pushed the button on her watch. "Hey nothing happened to me either!" 

"None of them are working!" Shipwreck said. "Maybe the X-Men busted our watches?" 

"Let's run a diagnostic," Quinn punched a few more buttons. "Uh oh."

"I hate that expression," Low Light sighed. "What is it?" 

"It's not the watches that are broken," Brittany told him. "It's the Mass Device back home!" 

"Toad must have broke it when he and Nightcrawler were having their little fight!" Daria snapped. "He overloaded the system!" 

"Oops," Todd gulped. "My bad." 

"Now what do we do?" Fred asked. "We can call home but it'll be hours before somebody picks us up!" 

"You mean we're stuck here?" Wanda asked. "Great!"

"Well at least we're not stuck someplace like Antarctica," Xi said. 

"I think I would have preferred Antarctica!" Pietro said. 

"So now what do we do?" Lance asked. 

"Hmmm," Shipwreck thought. "I have an idea…" 

************************************************************************

"I think they're gone," Xavier breathed a sigh of relief. "I think they're finally gone!" 

"Hooray!" Scott danced happily. "No more Misfits!"

That's when the door opened on the mansion. "Uh…Our teleporter broke," Shipwreck said. "Can we stay here tonight? Thanks guys!" Immediately the Misfits ran in. And immediately most of the X-Men started chasing them around the mansion, fighting with them. 

"They're gonna do this all night aren't they?" Xavier moaned as the adult X-Men watched the chaos around them.

"Yup," Logan sighed. 

"Makes sense," Ororo sighed. "If they can't rest there's no reason for them to allow us to." 

"Well at least they'll be gone tomorrow morning," Xavier winced as he heard an explosion. "If the mansion lasts that long." 

"You know once they do fix that thing they're still just gonna come in here whenever they want," Logan sighed. 

"You're right," Xavier sighed. 

"We are never going to get rid of the Misfits are we?" Hank sighed.

"No, Hank we are not," Xavier sighed. "Pass the aspirin will you?" 


End file.
